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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My ex told me im not good enough for him

31 replies

workisrubbish1710 · 26/02/2019 11:31

I’m so upset now I’m ranting. Basically I met my ex last night, it blew up into a massive massive argument. We spilt up because we kept arguing,he got a girl straight away. I’m not going to lie that hurt but I kept it moving. He had been trying to contact me previously but I kept avoiding his calls.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago he got in contact, saying he still loved me, his girl was nothing for him so and so forth. He kinda kept calling as if we were friends. He asked me if he changed would I be with him?

I kinda brushed it all off, he fell off contacting me so I just said basically don’t call me, we want different things, he ignored that.

Tuesday I get a call from him saying we can’t be together, his life and work make it very hard to have a relationship, blah blah blah. I kept getting calls in between that phone call so he got mad and put the phone down.
He called me back to ask me to screenshot my call list, he said he is my man and he loves me and always will. I dismissed everything he said. Last night he asked to see me as he knew I was out with a male friend. I met him mistakenly and it turned into a huge fight. He basically told me I don’t fit his criteria for a girlfriend, he made a mistake on talking to me again, he doesn’t want me, I don’t make him happy, he has no feelings for me. To say I’m hurt would be an understatement, we’ve been broken up6 months, why the fuck would he keep trying to contact me? When I’m not good enough for him? All I have been doing is crying

OP posts:
SoThisHappened · 26/02/2019 17:06

Three words: narcissistic personality disorder.

Oh FFS. There should be a vetting process before people are allowed to post on here at times.

workisrubbish1710 · 26/02/2019 17:07

i don't think he has a personality disorder. I think he's just a manipulative liar.

OP posts:
DiscontinuedModelHusband · 26/02/2019 17:13

i'd wonder if he said that out of jealousy/to protect himself.

either way, you're well rid.

"oh no, how will i ever survive? Hmm"
or just ignore and block.

Lightofday · 26/02/2019 23:53

sothishappend I blog on NPD and also run a wee group to help ppl who have been through NPD relationships/wish to avoid them in future (help spotting red flags ect). So actually, this is one of the few areas that i actually know what I'm talking about :p

Not to say I can diagnose, especially based on a few online comments xD but what the op describes could very well point to a personality disorder. Certainly worth a Google search on her part just incase.

Also worth noting that NORMAL people are not 'manipulative liars', people without low empathy are. Often ppl with low empathy meet the criteria for cluster b personality disorders. It's actually really common so it wouldn't be beyond possibility.

Doesn't really matter one way or another of course. Bad treatment is bad treatment either way.

workisrubbish1710 · 27/02/2019 09:18

i know, I do kind of know deep down. I just cant help but blame myself and ask whats wrong with me. Its a battle but i'm trying

OP posts:
Mummacake · 27/02/2019 09:42

He is projecting his lack of worth on to you. Just cos he's awful doesn't mean you are - he knows you're too good for him and us trying to knock you down so he can control you. Stop giving him room in your head - as head as it is block & move on before he further damages your self esteem Flowers

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