I think I might be developing some sort of social anxiety, I feel like I get nervous talking to people, over talk and somehow end up putting my foot in it.
There are now loads of situations where I barely speak as I'm so worried I'll offend someone. I'm not a nasty person but I always seem to say the wrong thing and worry about it for ages afterwards.
It started after my first was born (she's nearly 5), I'd been with my husband about 10 years and we used to go out with his friends and their wives a lot. I had dd and I guess grew up, the wives are quite a gossipy bunch and following a falling out with sil when I was pregnant with dd I'd decided not to gossip about people. I think to my husbands friends this made me pretty boring, I don't drink anymore, my kids are my life and tbh when with them I don't have much to say particularly as I don't want to bitch and gossip about people I barely know.
Anyway I now feel like an outsider in that group and that they don't really like me and this feeling has stemmed to other areas to.
I'm constantly worried about what I say to people incase I upset them and dwell on things for ages.
On Sunday I went to my nephews party, a mum from dd2's nursery was there, I wanted to make effort as I feel like being more friendly with the mums might help. Anyway, we chatted about our dds and it turned out hers was much younger then mine, I said I hadn't realised as her dd seems to hang around with the older children at nursery to which is why I'd assumed they were the same age. She then said her daughter doesn't hang around with anyone at nursery, she has autism and barely communicates. She seemed offended like I was making stuff up but I've genuinely seen her child mixing with others. Obviously not a lot but that's why I'd said what I'd said.
Anyway I worried all night long that she'd hate me and I barely slept scolding myself for making assumptions about her child and trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Basically deciding I just shouldn't talk to people.
Yesterday I went into the nursery and she was having a meeting with the manager and I've now got myself all worked up that it was my fault and I've really upset her and spent all of yesterday waiting for the nursery to ring me and tell me off
Im just starting to get feelings like everyone hates me.
I wanted to post to get it off my chest and see if anyone has experiences of feeling like this and could maybe recommend any books? Would councilling help?