Husbands behaviour at funeral has pushed me to the edge

[Lostandconfused240]

I have been married to my husband for about six years. He has always had a drinking problem over this time. When he drinks, he can't stop. In the beginning, I did the 'typical' thing of assuming that he would outgrow the behaviour/habit but obviously he has not and I've learnt the lesson that people cannot change unless they want to.

My mother recently passed away and her body was bought back to our home. My husband ended up out with his friends, missing our family dinner and getting home at midnight when I wanted an early night before the funeral.

I was so disappointed and hurt by his behaviour. He then started drinking at our house after the wake, coming to bed at 2pm absolutely rotten. At this time of grief/change in my life, his behaviour has just made me feel alone and neglected. Okay, he behaved himself at the funeral itself, but the day before and the evening after he showed that he is selfish in putting alcohol before supporting me and my family.

OP your DH is an alcoholic. That will not change unless he wants to.
Perhaps your mum’s death has brought this into sharper focus for you?
You are beginning to realise that DH prioritises drinking over you, even when you are grieving, vulnerable and in need of his support.
You cannot cure him. You can only decide whether to stay with him and suffer the consequences of his drinking, or leave him. The latter might be the push he needs to accept that he has a problem - many alcoholics have to lose everything before they even try to tackle the addiction. By staying with him, you are enabling the drinking.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and that you are having to deal with so much at once. I hope you have someone solidly supportive to confide in in real life.
Sending a hug, and my prayers that you find your way through all this.

I'm sorry for your loss,OP.

He is an alcoholic. You cannot even support him if he does not recognise this. If he did, whether you did support him in recovery is still a very big question. Addiction if a condition which in it's nature tends to be chronically relapsing. At least for a long time.