Why do I have wandering eyes?

[mypieter]

I've been dating dp for 2 and a half years. We've had our ups and downs, but things are looking up from near a break up about 6 months ago.
He lives in Bristol, I live in London so we only see each other on weekends/every other weekend. I've only just graduated so I hopefully have quite a few years before I need to settle down. My new job means I'm meeting lots of new people, and living in London I have lots of young people around me.

The problem is, as soon as I have a drink I get really bad wandering eyes. It gets to downloading tinder but I never reply to anyone, just see who's interest in me. I've even got to points of getting messages from other men on social media as I've followed them or what not. Whilst I don't reply, I feel bad for not. The grass always seems greener on the other side.

My dp is attractive, very smart, has a great job, great family and is generally very thoughtful. He'll take me out for dinner, send flowers, take me on a weekend away every few months etc. Even though he is pretty amazing, I still feel like I want something else.

When we talk about our future, I always get a feeling that I can't see myself living with him. Like I'm sure I could, and be happy. Just, I somehow feel that I won't.

Is this normal? Or is my brain trying to tell me something?

I'm assuming the sex isn't rocking your world then.

Perhaps that's just the way you are?

I've seen that behaviour with a some men where they'd have an amazing 10/10 girl and still be tempted by other women whilst some men will be completely loyal and besotted with a 5/10 women all their lives. It's just the way you are I guess if you really can't find any reason of his behaviour etc. that's triggered it. Perhaps it's things becoming too predictable, easy, etc with him? Maybe you're the type to go for the ones who never fully give themselves to you so there's always a challenge?

You aren't suited to a LDR. Sounds like you need more validation from blokes than yours can provide you with. Or you just need gone single longer. I'm assuming you're relatively young if you have just graduated.

If it's only when you drink without him, stop drinking? Or turn your phone off until the morning (although if you are in regular contact that might make him a bit suspicious!).

Don't you ever think of contacting him after a drink?

In fact on re reading it just sounds like you don't like him enough. Sorry. You can't make yourself.

Do you struggle with low self esteem, maybe?

I hopefully have quite a few years before I need to settle down.

You don’t need to settle down. Not ever if it isn’t want you want.

I’d say move on, let him find someone who isn’t just settling for him and you go find someone where you don’t need to look elsewhere for attention - and maybe not LDR next time, or stay single for a bit and enjoy that life.

Monogamy isn't the be all and end all anyway... you might be best off single and having fun

How old are you? I’m assuming early/mid twenties? If so then you need to end this relationship. You’re not in love if you’re wandering. You’re too young to settle.