Pregnant with no family and partner left

[user1495054732]

Have 4 year old what do I do with her when I am in labour?

Is there a school mum who can help? I’d do this for someone without hesitation even if I didn’t know them very well.

Can you afford to hire a babysitter?

Home birth?

My daughter was born by section May need section again xx

Hi @user, I'm sorry you're going through this. How far along are you? Does your 4 year old have contact with her father? Grandparents?
If neither of those are options how about the school? Would one of her friend's parents have her for the time you are not available?
I hope things turn out ok for you.

There is one school mum that might help will have to ask xx

If there really isn't anyone you can ask (friend, neighbour, work colleague?) you could ask your midwife for advice. You won't be the first person in that situation.

When is baby due? Will you partner really not do that for you, regardless of the relationship ending? Or his family/parents, if you get along and they are hoping for a relationship with baby?

Sounds like school mum is the best bet.

Sorry you’re in this situation - it must be very stressful.

1. Speak to your midwife about the situation she maybe able to help is one option.
2. Speak to the hospital where your going to have your baby they might be able to advice you also.
3. or another option is find a babysitter now so you can get to know her and child can build trust then by time you go into labour you got someone you can trust to leave your child with and know your will be happy also with them.
4. last if she goes to school/nursery yet get to know the mums there who your child plays with and they could help or if you go to mother groups also. Hope it helps in some way

Definitely worth asking midwife as sometimes there are childcare providers affiliated with the hospital.

When this happened to me I asked other nuns to help out with the school run. It wasn’t ideal as they weren’t even really my mates - but I think they felt too awkward to say no !

Mums not nuns 😂

If you need a c section you know that you will be kept in hospital and you won't be able to move properly afterwards. I will take you at your word that you have no one to help and realistically a school mum probably wouldn't be able to keep her for several days so you need to tell your midwife what is going on. Explain that there is no one to keep her. I can see only two solutions. Either a home birth with your lo present or respite provided through social services. Believe it or not children are often cared for because of medical issues. You aren't the only lone parent to have a second child or need surgery or have cancer treatment for example. Children are looked after and then returned home when their parent recovers. If the second option becomes the only one then it is better to start to organise things sooner rather than later. You could meet the carer in advance and wouldn't feel like you were sending your child to a stranger.

@MumUnderTheMoon, I disagree that a school mum is not an option in case of a c section being needed. I would happily help someone from our in these circumstances. Also it's irresponsible to even suggest home birth after a previous c section. Although it's possible it's also possible that she will end up needing another c section and there is a higher possibility of complications that would put both the mother and the child in harms way if they were to be at home.

Can you hire someone? I had a home birth with both mine, but as my older one was there with us for the youngest’s birth, I hired a doula whose job was pretty much to look after her and to stay with her if I needed to go in to hospital. A doula is probably an expensive way to do it (but I needed someone who wouldn’t be freaked out being present at the birth). A babysitter/childminder/nanny for a day and night would certainly be more reasonably priced.

I'm sorry OP I should have been clearer. I too am a lone parent with no friends to help I am lucky enough to have my mum who helps when she can but as she is a carer for my youngest brother sometimes she just can't. My point was sometime there are no perfect options and the sooner you make your midwife know the better. I hope all goes well for you.