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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

im scared i cant get the attraction back

3 replies

Cosmicunicorn321 · 24/02/2019 12:02

ive been with my partner for 8 years. one dd. we are engaged.
he is an amazing man in every way. i love him but i dont think im in love with him.
he has put on a lot of weight. sex is uncomfortable. he gets out of breathe. he has big man boobs....god i feel so shallow writing that.
ive gently told him that i dont find him as attractive a while ago. think all ive done is dented his confidence.
ive started doing slimming world but hes not made much of an effort really. i dont want to have to force the issue.
hes started to ask for more sex, hinting all the time and i feel bad so i do it but i dont want to. i find it even hard to kiss him.

im so worried. how am i meant to spend the rest of my life with someone who i dont find attractive....and all the problems it creates in the future. attraction was never a big deal to me before....but its a problem now.
im so worried about losing everything. we own a house together. hes a great dad. loyal. loving....i dont know what to do.

ive tried date nights. romantic films and candles. ive tried all sorts. what do you do in this situation?

OP posts:
NewMe2019 · 24/02/2019 13:03

I felt like this. Got married etc etc. Now getting divorced. The attraction never came back, everything about him just irritates me more. He didn't make the effort either even though I hinted. Told him I wasn't happy etc, he said and did nothing. I've ended it and now he wants to know if he can fix it (but I would need to tell him exactly how and I'm just not interested).

SkinnyPete · 24/02/2019 20:05

Tell him to get his shit together. If he doesn't, leave.

Ella2103 · 25/02/2019 00:48

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