Break up...

[brokenup123]

I've just broken up with my partner of 2 years, not a long time I know but very intense.

It was a very toxic relationship with a lot of drinking, drug taking and mental abuse on his side.

How do I get through it day by day? How do I fight the urge to text or call.

He also owes me money, not a large amount, but I still need it back.

Help

If you want to move on write the money off. Delete his number and block him. Sadly it's the only. Good luck OP

The only way

It's an amount of money that I need back. It would pay my car for a month....

I also have stuff at his house that I need to get. It's a very fresh breakup so I don't really know how to go about it

I echo writing the money off as well as your possessions. Clean break, now. No further contact. Painful but imagine the freedom you will feel straight away, versus continued contact to try and recover money and possessions from an abusive person who will possibly be obstructive and unkind

I could write the money off, although I'm not well off at all and it would help me.

I do need my belongings, it's a lot of stuff. Probably half of my stuff, if not more.

I will block him. It's all of the abuse and blaming me for everything. Making me believe I will never get anyone better than him. How do I handle it day by day once he's been blocked

I know I'll see him out, we live close to each other and it will make it harder

Can you go with a friend to get your stuff?
Money might be harder if he’s an abusive arsehole.
I would write down a long list of his many failings and abusive behaviour and read that every time you’re tempted to text or call - he sounds horrendous.

Get a male friend to get the money and your stuff

Do not contact him yourself

Block and delete from everywhere - eg social media and phone

Make a list of ALL the bad things and keep reading it

Given that he's abusive towards you and that you're struggling to end contact, the wisest long-term course for you is to write off the money now. Consider it the price of exit and money well spent.

You'd probably be whistling in the wind for it anyway if you did try to get it back.

Can you go to his house next week when he's at work and get your stuff back?

Yes I could go after work and hope he's not in.

If he's in I could just drive past and keep trying until his car isn't there.

The list is a good idea. Although I don't think there's a bit of paper long enough haha!

Thanks for all the suggestions. Just need to take it day by day now....

Can you ask him to have your stuff ready for someone else to collect?

Writing the money off would be best but I would still ask for it. Perhaps get the same friend to hand him a note from you, asking for the money. Or push a note through the door if you are able to collect your things when he's not there.

Do NOT ring or text him. Chances are, he won't give it back anyway.