How do I leave?

[Peoplewatcherer]

Been with DP for almost 10 years. Until recently I was a SAHM but have a part time job now-I earn about £100 a week. Other than this, I am completely financially dependent on him. He pays for my car(I bought it so that’s mine), he pays the mortgage(all in his name). You get the picture.
I don’t think I’m happy. My eyes and mind are wandering elsewhere. We have a wedding booked for next year but I’m having doubts that I’m cut out for married life and if it’s really what I want.
But, how do I leave with nothing, and start again. 3 kids to think of. I have no family to help me out financially. My friend has said I can stay with her, but she only has one spare room. Definitely not enough space for me and 3 kids.
I’d need a deposit and first months rent, money to buy a bed for me, I own the sofa, microwave, and that’s about it! I feel so trapped. What can I do??

Go full-time and save hard?

You could manage on a futon or camp bed temporarily.

Presumably you'd get benefits (check online benefit calculator) to top up, and he'd be expected to pay child support (online calculator for that too).

Do you have no registered financial interest in the family home at all?

No I’ve not paid a penny into our home. He built it a few years ago

I would get some advice from CAB or solicitor about whether or not you have any grounds to register an interest in the property. It would probably make practical sense to get married but I understand why you wouldn't want to do that. Have you got someone neutral to talk things through with?

My best friend has been great. But neither of us have been in this situation before so no idea how to go about it.
If I start saving, it’ll take me months to even scrape together enough to afford the initial outlay. By that time I’ll probably just have settled for the life I have now and admitted defeat

I don’t want to screw him over by marrying him then taking half in a divorce. I couldn’t live with myself

Definitely postpone the wedding. A divorce is insanely difficult and a lot of money goes to lawyers. Local councils give loans to enable people to rent homes, means fewer need the council to provide emergency accomodation. You can stay with him/friend and get them to write a letter to the council saying they can only provide emergency housing for you, and go on the council list. Council rent is much cheaper although you would get housing benefit towards renting anywhere. There is an online calculator for how much child support you can expect. He may be happier to pay more. Finances can be worked out in mediation sessions. Talk to the CAB. Single mum life is hard, but if you're happier alone than with him, its so worth it.