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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lie-in Guilt

3 replies

Jugle · 24/02/2019 09:11

I BF a 9 month old who still wakes for a feed 1-2 times each night. The feeds last for around 50 minutes by the time he has settled down after the feed. It then takes me a while to fall back to sleep and I'm having to use ASMR on youtube to get to sleep again most nights. I am probably awake for around 1.5-2.5 hours each night. I go to bed around 9.30pm and am up for the school run by 7am.

I get one lie-in at the weekend and DH who has a stressful job gets the other. He usually doesnt have to do much during the night unless the baby is fighting sleep. Sometimes DH is reluctant to help during the night and its caused a few arguments.

DH has helped once during the night in the last week and this morning, during his lie-in, I woke feeling v tired after feeding the baby at 6am, having been awake from 2.15am- roughly 3.45am. Our 5 year old wandered in at 6.30 and instead of me getting up, I asked DH to.

He grumbled and did it. I know he was probably really looking forward to his lie-in but he gets so much uninterrupted sleep... the stuff I dream of!

He says he is "fine" but it's clear he is giving me the silent treatment because of it.

It's made me feel guilty and lazy for taking the lie-in that I know he was probably really looking forward to. I find it difficult to sleep with DH as he thrashes in his sleep so I sleep poorly when he is in bed with me. We spend quite a few nights each week in seperate beds for this reason. But last night he came to bed.

Should I feel guilty for taking away his lie-in?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 24/02/2019 09:22

Hmmm... If you had agreed it was his lie-in today then yes I'd be feeling a bit guilty, and would probably offer him both lie-ins next weekend.

What time does he get up for work?

pinkhorse · 24/02/2019 09:24

Yes I would. It was his lay in that he was probably looking forward to.

Jugle · 24/02/2019 09:29

Well we hadn't actually agreed anything officially and usually, when he has a lie-in the following day, he settles the baby after all feeds during the night, but he didnt and slept through all of the wakings.

OP posts:
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