My baby's father seems literally insane?

[Ciara11215]

Hi, I'm new here

Obv I know nobody here can diagnose somebody they never even met….but I’m desperately seeking answers about my daughter’s father.
I can’t go into it too much as it would simply take a whole essay to explain it.
In brief: my ex boyfriend started out seeming the most lovely, shy, sweet man ever. Gradually he revealed what I presume now is his true self: hateful, racist, misogynistic and prejudiced against Christian women (he is Muslim).

Despite using contraception I ended up pregnant. We’d actually discussed what would happen if I ever got pregnant prior to even starting having sex. I’d said I’d keep the baby.
Anyway, I got pregnant. He got violent. Mainly sexual violence.
He also started seriously psychologically abusing me, saying that I was a whore because I slept with him before marriage, saying I should have known from the start he could never want to settle down with me. (How could I be expected to know these things given he’d said we were in a relationship and he was really into me?)

Anyway, one of the many things that alarmed me was his INTENSE mood swings. It was like dealing with at least 2 different people. He’d be professing love one day then literally 12 hours later he’d DENY having even SEEN me the day before. And he’d treat me like I was the enemy and tell me to get out of his life and say he never wanted to see me again. All sparked by nothing at all.
He’d do this like every few weeks.
He also mentioned hearing voices in his head telling him to attack people.
In the end he said I was a demon sent to target him and force him into fatherhood and that he could tell the government are watching him and monitoring his brain and that I’ve possibly been sent by the government to ruin his life!
He then simply refused to speak to me ever again.
My daughter is now 7 months old.
My ex actually refuses to believe she even exists and says the entire thing is a “conspiracy.”

My concern is that he has serious mental health issues and I want to know how this might affect my daughter genetically.
I actually reached out to his ex girlfriend and she said he did similar stuff to her, including getting her preggers and then accusing her of being a demon sent to destroy him. In the end she lost the baby.

My ex also did this weird grimacing thing all the time, sort of like a tic. And he’d say strange, inappropriately sexual stuff (like really graphic) in public in a sort of involuntary manner. Sort of like Tourette’s in a way. But his other symptoms suggest psychosis.

I’m also worried, unstable as he is mentally, that he might suddenly change his mind and want visitation rights to his daughter. I would not feel at all comfortable letting her anywhere near him. Help?

So he refuses to acknowledge your dd? How are you still in touch with him? Do you live together? Honestly, I don’t think you can help him and he sounds dangerous and has clearly hurt you (raped you?) multiple times. Why are you going anywhere near him? He needs help, OP. Sectioning, possibly.

Can you talk to his family? Tell them what he has been doing, tell them of your concerns, say he will not have access to your dd... can you ring his doctor and tell them your fears?

Hi,
If you look at my post I've said that I'm concerned about what impact this has on my daughter GENETICALLY

I couldn't give a flying f* what this swine does on a day to day basis. He's not in my life. Obviously I still hear about his latest antics and claims from mutual acquaintances

So, yes, he's actually claiming his daughter doesn't even exist, apparently. And that I myself am a demon.

I've had a restraining order against him since last year

But it's not unreasonable to wish to know precisely what is wrong with him mentally? As my poor DD obviously will have inherited his genes

Hi @whitehorsesdonotlie his family pretend he has no mental issues at all. It's a strange cultural thing. They refuse to acknowledge mental illness even exists.

Nothing I can do aside from hope he stays away forever I guess

Is he on DDs birth certificate? If he is not on the birth certificate then he has no parental responsibility and no rights.

Apart from everything else, I wouldn't worry about the mental health issues being carried down genetically, he probably has a personality disorder which develops in childhood.

No advise other than keep him away from your baby and your home.

Sounds like a paranoid schizophrenic.
His family pretending he is fine is not going to make it go away.

I would guess your ex is in denial about his mental condition and therefore will probably continue to be undiagnosed. Do any of his relatives suffer with mental illness?

It think mental illness can be inherited but it is supposed to be much more likely to be mentally well and not develop a condition. I guess environment plays a big part and if your DD has a stable loving home then that will be a good foundation for her.

@Chilli21 no he's not on her birth certificate

Even if I'd wanted him to be he'd have to have cone with me to register and he thinks I'm a demon and government spy, so.....

Lawyer I consulted said he can still apply for rights later on. Hopefully he won't though

@Whatsnewpussyhat

Yes I'd guess schizophrenia or schizoaffective

I have a similar experience and I have 2 dc. I have also been worried about them inheriting any predisposition to mental health problems. In the end all you can really do is surround yourselves with good, mentally and emotionally healthy people, take care of yourselves and keep your eyes peeled for any difficulties she may encounter in the future with her own mental health. You've taken the first crucial step which is not having him in her life.

@Chilli21

People describe the ex's dad as "an unhinged psycho"

Best I can do is just keep my daughter away from him. There's nothing more I can do as far as I'm aware

@Senseiwu

How old are your little ones now?

Having a parent with a personality disorder, which it sounds like your ex has, does increase your risk slightly of having one. Having a safe and secure childhood does make this much less likely though.
Keep anything you have that documents how he feels about your child and don't allow him contact and if he ever decides he wants to see her you can request a psychiatric assessment at court.

He could apply for a parental responsibility agreement but if you don’t agree then he would have a hard time getting a court issue an order. It might be a good idea to keep a log of his behaviour or any communication you have with him to corroborate the concerns you have about him in the event that he changes his mind and wishes to be involved with your DD.

There is no way that we can tell you for sure. Certain mental health problems can run in a family (I've seen psychosis run in every generation in one family). On the other hand there are really a lot of patients who are the only psychotic person in the family. Only time will tell. I'm sorry that I can't take your worry away.

I do believe that a stable childhood lessens the chance of a psychotic episode, but I have no proof for it.

Sounds like psychosis or schizophrenia. How do I know? Because in 2016, I was diagnosed with psychosis and some of the behaviour you mention your ex has, I experienced. I. E calling people demons, hearing voices, lashing out, weird "tics". I personally believe in demonic possesion but that is from a spiritual perspective, but medical professionals will just class it as psychosis or schizophrenia..etc I dont think you have anything to worry about regarding it being genetically passed down to your DD. His MH issues sound a lot like possession, I suggest he sees am Imam...and gets it prayed over.

My dc are 5 and 7 so still too early to have any proper advice for you! But I second what pp's have said about a stable loving childhood lessening the risk.

@Dreamzcancometrue
Wow, thank you for sharing.
Are you coping ok now?
Did you go on medication?
I had been particularly confused by my ex's tics as I'd not realised tics could be a part of psychosis.

It's been such a frightening journey and I may be being a tad paranoid about my DD inheriting any issues from him.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of all the abuse from the ex.

Silly me also made the mistake during my pregnancy of going back to him a couple of times. On each occasion he'd pop up, talk of marriage and a family and future together. Literally within 12 hours he'd then have a total personality switch and start referring to me as a demon that must be killed and saying he's always hated me. Even that in itself fried my head beyond belief. Thankfully I stopped the cycle and have not seen or spoken to him since my 2nd Trimester. DD is now 7 months old.

At OP, yeah im ok now, but im still on medication. Whatever evil that was in my body has left, but I still have support from my local MH team because im due any day now and they want to make sure baby and I are gonna be fine. I recieve depot monthly.
Your ex's case sounds similiar to mine bar a few details. I was a nightmare when I was ill, and a public risk - thankfully I was stopped and recieved adequate help ( I spent 3 months inside a psychiatric unit for women).. As for your ex's tics that could be a demonic entity ( I used to get spasms in my head and my hands involuntarily so parts of my body would move by themselves) it was really freaky and if you dont believe in that sort of stuff people will dismiss the theory straight away. Happy to help btw!

@Dreamzcancometrue

Actually I totally believe you about the demonic thing

Strangely he started talking constantly about demons; sometimes trying to get me into devil worship, other times accusing me of being an "evil demon"

Yeah, trust me I was never really religious before I got "possessed". I believe that the house all this crap started in was haunted. Because things I owned would either dissappear or move by themselves and I'd witness it. It was freaky I was being tortured. Inside and out.

Your ex sounds like a danger to himself and the people around him, if and I believe from what you have said in your op he is possessed, he needs to seek deliverance or he is either going to end up in jail, or dead. Sorry to say.