How do you do NC when you have DC together?

[FauxJoMalaux]

Is there a similar strategy to NC when DC are involved? Obviously DH and I have contact about DC arrangements but I am finding this incredibly hard.

It’s early days (less than six weeks) and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hopeful that we could sort issues. But at the moment there is just so much anger on both sides.

I think that if I had minimal contact that it might help to get some clarity but at the moment there are calls and texts, starting off about DC but ultimately ended in more arguments.

I’m so hurt and sad. I feel fragile and like my life has gone to shit. Some space I feel would do me some good but it doesn’t seem possible. I try not to engage but obviously I miss him. I’m not sure that things can be worked out in all honesty but think that with no contact it will give me space to sort myself out (think tears everyday and mixed emotions from sadness to anger).

Thanks :)

It is hard, but you need to limit all contact about the children either via text or email. Do not call, then you won’t end up in an argument about something else.

Make it clear, contact is text or email, children only, you will not respond to anything else.

sort contact through someone else like a family member?

Yes, have thought if that but would rather not involve my family and husbands is the issue that created the split. I posted about that at the time. It’s all hideously dramatic and awful.

a friend?

Communicated through text only.

Cms for maintenance and routine for contact. No contact in the family home. He comes. Knocks on the door and waits.

I know how hard this is. And I too hoped things would work out. It has taken me a year to get to this point. After some poor behaviour from ex.

It breaks my heart that we have got to this.

You need to be strong an put boundaries in place. Few stock phrases helped. I am no longer your concern was one of mine.

Lean on people around you.

I am very LC with my kids' dad. Every communication is by email or text and ONLY regarding kids.
Anything else instigated by him is ignored.

Email only. Have a friend read them and filter it down to the child arrangememts. Then answer that only.

Thanks all :) email is the way to go I think as it’s so easy to reply to a text or WhatsApp.

It’s awful!