Life after divorce??

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Re posting this in a different section as I think I posted it in wrong place previously - sorry I'm new to this!!

Hello everyone,

My husband and I separated a few months ago with the intention of divorcing. He is buying me out of our jointly owned home and this is still ongoing at the moment as he wished to keep the house. We are still on excellent terms and have 1 child together. I was the one who wanted to separate, somewhere along the way we just fizzled out and are now just best mates and nothing more. I honestly want the best 4 him in the future and hope he finds happiness again, just not with me.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what the years ahead may hold for me and it's got me a little down. I'm starting again on the wrong side of 30 with a toddler in tow - who is my whole world anyway - and I have been out the dating world for almost a decade- wouldnt know where to start! No such thing as an app last time I was single. Not that I'm looking just now anyway as I have so much else to sort out before I worry about it. Just thinking generally about the future and if I will always spend it alone.

Does anyone have any good stories about how their lives turned out after divorce?? Could use the inspiration just now xx

Hi, I was 36, 2 kids. I left the home because he was an abusive bastard.

The first 6-8 months was awful. Because exh was awful. I know longer speak to my parents because they felt bad for him and thought was over reacting to years of sexual assault, controlling behaviour and eventual rape. It was a bad time.

I was sleeping on a friend's couch with the kids. That friend was and is my rock.

Nearly 3 year on. Life is amazing. I have my own home, that I know will always have the mortgage paid, new job, kids are in school, we are in a new area, near my best friend. I have my aunties, I have my kids and I have an amazing dp. I actually met dp 10 days after I left exh, but we didn't get together for a good while. I didn't want a relationship, neither did as he hadn't ended his marriage a couple of months prior.

Life is really good at the moment. If you and exh can remain getting on and reasonable it will make it easier.

I tried online dating. It wasn't for me in all honesty. I chatted to a few people, but when it came to meeting up I just couldn't do it. But on the flip side, me and dp were good friends and I knew what I felt for him, just didn't want to take the next step. I don't know if that put me off.

Me and dp danced around our relationship for a while. Both wanting more, but not wanting more. He was an amazing friend to me during that period though. He was the one helping me move my stuff in, paint the kids rooms etc. I am grateful he was able to remain friends, while we both sorted ourselves out and I know he feels the same. I know for a while, when I was getting mentally stronger he was worried I would date other people, but continued to support me as a friend would.

It's all come right in the end. That's what my friend always used to say 'imagine this time next year' this Christmas I recalled her words as she had said it the Christmas before. I sat in my house Christmas morning with kids asleep, dp came round for breakfast and I cried with happiness.

Lifes good and worth every really painful and difficult step.

Wow Tennesseewhiskey thts a lot to go through!! Thanks 4 sharing ur story im glad things r going good 4 u now xxx

I'm divorcing my husband.
I feel like me again. I feel I can breathe again. Life by myself with all my children is far easier. I'm not angry, I'm free.

Honestly, written down it seems a lot. If I think about it, I don't know how I survived. But I did. I am still here, thriving.

I met dp in my best friends kitchen. Literally bumped into him. We were friends for a good while. He is so much more than I ever hoped for. I was more than happy to remain single forever. That's why it was so complicated. I used to wish I had met him a few years down the line, when all the shit was gone. It did make it harder and ore complicated, meeting him so soon. But then he always says that, that might of meant we didn't end up together. So I am happy where I am, the shit was worth it.

I am sure one day you will feel the same. Though it sounds like your divorce has the potential to be far better than mine. Good luck

Ex left me and kids for ow a few years ago. I was late 30s. After a few months I signed up to an online dating site just to have some dates and things to do on the nights the kids were with him. I enjoyed the process, met and had lots of dates with quite a few nice guys and then about 18m after ex left I met the guy I'm now seriously dating. We don't and won't live together but it's serious and I never felt like I was left on the shelf or that I'd missed my chance. Divorce is an awful process for most, regardless of why it came about and it absolutely can give your self esteem a huge knock so you do have to find a certain amount of confidence before putting yourself out there but it absolutely can be a positive thing.

39 when I got divorced. 42 now, and happily married. Probably seems quick, but my exh and I were separated for 2 years before we divorced.

It's so good 2 hear other peoples stories - gives me some hope 4 the future. 2 somenextent I suppose the future is what u make it eh?xx

Herbal essence 0%, and double shampooing

I’m very happy since my divorce. I too have one child and am on good terms with my ex. I really enjoy having some weekends to myself. I go to concerts, I travel a lot more, am more fit than I’ve ever been, I volunteer, I love my job. I did none of these in my marriage as I was so unhappy. I feel I’m evolving as a person and value my time and space. It took a good few months to transition and to find a new normal but I got there. I am online dating too (unsuccessfully but the process is fun). I may not find love again but I am excited about the future.

It will take time but do be kind to yourself. Take small steps - they build up to something great. You’ll have utterly shit days but as long as the trajectory is an upward one, all will be fine.

Wishing you all the best.

I got divorced 3 years ago, super happy about it still.

Thanks everyone for sharing xx