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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Invasion of privacy

32 replies

Sawvrf · 23/02/2019 04:54

Just discovered last October my husband of 33 yrs has been doing the following; Found on his digital camera pictures from porn magazines. Then I discovered he is using porn sites, checking out hook up sites. And to finish it off I found a large brown envelope of photographs, over 200 hundred, of myself sleeping naked in bed, shower etc all without my knowledge. They date back to 2007. I feel betrayed, invaded, totally creeped out. My heart is broken and I no longer trust my husband. So his responses have been, all men look at porn. He took pictures of pictures because he was throwing out the magazines and wanted to keep his favorite pics. He says he has never been on a hook up site, his history on his phone says otherwise. And the pics of me is because the last SD card of my naked pics of me was deleted by mistake so he started to print them out. Presently I have a SD card with over 700 naked pics/ video of me. He says he's sorry in one breath and the next he is implying there is nothing wrong. How do we survive this?

OP posts:
MoneyHoney · 23/02/2019 12:31

Sorry but this is a police matter. He's a horrible and frankly dangerous person

stopitandtidyupp · 23/02/2019 12:45

The photos of you is absolutely vile and unforgivable.
It sounds like he is obsessive you can't get past that.

Sawvrf · 23/02/2019 16:32

I discovered all of this four months ago while I was home recovering from a bad car accident. Since the car accident I have lost my main source of income. Returned to my part time job 14 weeks after accident on light duty still averaging 10-15 hrs a week. Also, haven't been able to replace the smashed car, can't afford payments and I need a car for my line of work. I feel trapped! I think I'm still processing all of this. I'd love to go to a therapist (just me) but can't afford $150 /hr. This will end just have to get my ducks in a row.

OP posts:
Wallywobbles · 24/02/2019 06:37

What steps have you taken to find out if these images are already online? You really do need to find out and the police would be able to give you advice about that.

katykins85 · 24/02/2019 06:42

This is absolutely a police matter, please report him

Sawvrf · 02/03/2019 00:23

I'm sure how to look online for my pictures.
Anyone have any advice on how to go about this. Thznks

OP posts:
perci08 · 02/03/2019 00:38

Personally, I'd take a hammer to his camera! Is a clear betrayal of TRUST doing that to you without your permission. I'd delete all the pictures and as someone else said 'what has he done with the pictures of you?' Why couldn't he have asked your permission (cos he knew you'd say 'no'?) Seriously - porn is disrespectful of women's bodies and this is a clear violation of your body. I'd seek marriage guidance on this...also insist on different sleeping arrangements now you know this. Get a lock on your bedroom door. As he is lying to you and to add insult to injury acting like he has done nothing wrong. Drop his camera into a bucket of water if you don't take a hammer to it!

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