Ugggh so here's the background.
Together 3 years. I have ds who is 8 from previous relationship. We have a Dd 9 months old. I rent my house work part time and currently on mat leave he works full time. He's 33 I'm 27. When we were first together he lied about things such as he had a house (mortgage) he drove a range rover (god this sounds so money orientated but I'm not like that I promise) which he owed he has 2 other properties be rented out he was a quantity surveyor in essence to me he was a confident motivated sensible level headed man who was mature and had things going for him....WRONG....
Things progressed quickly he was very intense very jealous paranoid and quickly sank his claws into me and before I knew it he was living with me, it wasn't all bad I mean it was great at the time but looking back I can now see how controlling and mentally abusive he was to be able to make me change/drop guard let him move in etc ANYWAY I soon found out his "life" wasn't as he made out. He lived with his mum and dad paying £50 a week rent, he never had a range rover and the car he drove (which he told me was his work car) was actually his dad's which he borrowed, he never even had car insurance in his own name probs not even had his own car and he wasn't a quantity surveyor be was infact a plaster he didn't have other properties infact he from what I gather never actually had his own place ever. Obviously I pieced this together quickly and after months and months of lies and lies and lies he eventually told me the real truth.
Time passed on, I told him I knew he was lying and not to be so stupid I loved him for the person he was not what he had etc things were good we got on life was ticking away nicely my ds loves he he gets on with him all good, we have our dd first time for him and he is very good with her can't fault him with Dd at all so far so good.
Wheb Dd was 4 weeks old she stopped breathing and was rushed into hospital had a 2 week stay with me by her side while my ds was looked after by family members dp continued to work on and off and came to hospital in evenings - the hardest 2 weeks of my life - anyway we were skint as dp wasn't working maternity pay didn't cover etc so I was actually being fed by the hospital at this point because I couldn't leave dd. Fast forward to a few months ago, I discover dp is in debt, 10k, which is alot for me to even comprehend and not only that when our dd was in hospital, I had no money, no food and bills racking up at home he got himself a shit interest credit card and maxed it out (1k roughly I think) gambling and having take out When he got home from hospital!!!
Cut a long story short, he's now 10 k in debt to various different things tax man, his parents, credit cards, previous phone contracts and me. All the while he pays me a certain amount each week to help with bills etc however he almost ALWAYS "borrows" it back as it stands he owes me personally £1350 (this is alot to me!!)
I know it's all his debt nothing to do with me my name isn't on any of it (thank god) but he lied and continued to lie, he hid things from me, we had a baby based on I will work part time look after kids he will work full time and save for mortgage deposit which I'm putting 5k too so we can get dd a bedroom and he lied. He watched me starve sat next to 4 week old dd 40 miles from home while she had non breathing episodes then he went home gambled on his credit card and had a fucking takeaway....wtf...
I'm sorry if I am rambling.
I guess I want to vent and find out how you guys manage the finances when one of you takes a career backseat looks after the kids etc?
I've sat down with him tonight and tried to help him work it all out to pay it off and keep afloat and he just doesn't give a damn at all. He's betrayed me and I'm seriously thinking about asking him to leave. ...is that wrong?!
Oh and to top it all off he has a massive gambling addiction, roughly averages around 130 a week and at Christmas he spent 100 a day for 6 days gambling, staring at his phone for hours and getting moody when he lost...