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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relationship straw poll. Light hearted

34 replies

Tennesseewhiskey · 22/02/2019 22:08

Me and Dp went for a drive today and ended up in a town with arcades so got out for walk round. We were on the 2p tipping point type machines that have prizes.

A load of coins dropped out and a cheap ring fell out, that resembled an engagement ring. He keeps saying this is is a sign. He believes in that sort of stuff.

I laughed awkwardly, now we are having a couple of drinks he thinks I should ask you lovely bunch. He must have mentioned it 10ntimes since it happened.

So.....is it a sign we should get engaged.

Full disclosure, I am not interested in getting engaged yet, given neither of our divorces are finalised (we didn't have an affair and met after we split with our spouses).

OP posts:
S021 · 22/02/2019 22:19

I think they as you are both still married to other people that the significance of a cheap, arcade ring could be a sign that engagement/marriage means diddlysquat to both of you.

Hellohappiness · 22/02/2019 22:19

No it’s not a sign! You could humour him by going along with it as a joke for a couple of hours but back to reality and no, it’s a non starter given that you are not interested nor divorced.

S021 · 22/02/2019 22:20

Essentially, it’s a throw away item.
As are your previous marriages

Original poster
Tennesseewhiskey · 22/02/2019 22:25

Thank you!!!! I don't believe in signs.

Essentially, it’s a throw away item. As are your previous marriages

I am keeping it. It reminds me of a lovely day out.

Yes, I threw away exh after years of abuse then he raped me. Damn right my marriage has been thrown away. I am not ashamed of that.

OP posts:
LuckyLou7 · 22/02/2019 22:29

I am so jealous! The last time I went on the 2p machines, I only won a smiley face keyring that fell to pieces within an hour. I love the 2p machines. I love the fact you can have an entire afternoon's entertainment for a pound. it's the only reason I moved to the seaside

Wear the ring until your finger turns green, then replace it with a solid gold sparkler as and when the time is right.

S021 · 22/02/2019 22:31

You shouldn’t be ashamed! The ring is worth less like your marriage and you obviously made the right decision. My comment wasn’t meant to be negative.

HappyLife21 · 22/02/2019 22:48

No it’s not a sign. It might be a bit of fun to pretend it is a sign, but it is not a sign.

Original poster
Tennesseewhiskey · 23/02/2019 00:04

Hmmm he seems a bit gutted that no one agreed with him.

Bless Grin

OP posts:
willowmelangell · 24/02/2019 08:17

I see I am a bit late for this but, IF you had then put a £1 in a Zoltar machine and the fortune card printed your birth dates combined AND you later ordered a Chinese takeaway and the fortune cookie said something 'a good dinner partner is a good life partner' and THEN an 8 ball fell off a shelf flashing "what will be will be",
hmmm maybe then I'd get a bit nervous ha ha

Original poster
Tennesseewhiskey · 24/02/2019 08:20

willowmelangell Grin

To be fair I probably would have too. Lol

OP posts:
CaseofEllen · 24/02/2019 08:20

I think his reaction is a sign that he wants to marry you and I think if you want to marry him then after a crappy marriage, that you bravely walked away from you should go ahead and do just that! Do precisely what you want!

ohamIreally · 24/02/2019 08:24

Yes I agree it's a sign he wants to marry you. What were the reasons behind his divorce?

LizzieSiddal · 24/02/2019 08:32

I too think he wants to marry you but we can’t answer as we don’t know if he’s a good Un or not!

Homer101 · 24/02/2019 09:46

He wants to spend the rest of
His life with you . He loves you . Trust me as a man I’d never bring that subject up unless it was what I really wanted .
You don’t have to do anything . But you can be safe in the knowledge that he’s in this formthe long term and he’s definitely not planing on leaving you high and dry .
Enjoy each other .

altiara · 24/02/2019 09:51

After what you’ve been through with your ex, then just enjoy yourself, he should understand the last thing you want to do is legally tie yourself to another person and pressure about it will probably turn you off.
And no it’s not a sign unless it’s a sign for both of you!

NameChangeNugget · 24/02/2019 11:36

You would have to be a complete melt to make a life altering decision based on that Grin

Men who rush like this can be hiding something. Just be careful

RugbyRugby · 24/02/2019 11:48

No getting a cheap piece of plastic out of a vending machine that is designed to randomly dispense cheap pieces of plastic is not a sign.

he thinks I should ask you lovely bunch

Sorry but what kind of a man would suggest that his partner go and ask a random bunch of strangers on Mumsnet about whether he should get engaged???

Dumping offence on its own! (Lighthearted)

MrsExpo · 24/02/2019 12:20

Going a bit against the grain here, but i think it is a sign of sorts. It's given him a route to admit his feelings towards you and how he sees your future working out, so nothing wrong with that. How long have you been together?

Original poster
Tennesseewhiskey · 24/02/2019 12:25

What were the reasons behind his divorce?

That's a complicated one. Essentially they weren't well matched. I have known his family for a long time, he lived far away. I heard bits from them that came from her and him over the years. There was definitely problems, but it comes down to they loved each other and got married but weren't well suited. Dp feels there was fault on both sides.

Trust me as a man I’d never bring that subject up unless it was what I really wanted

That's interesting. Though I am happy right now and will just enjoy us being us. I don't want to get married yet, so I am just riding it out.

Sorry but what kind of a man would suggest that his partner go and ask a random bunch of strangers on Mumsnet about whether he should get engaged???

Lol because he knows I am on here a lot. He didn't want me to ask my friends as they are either related to him or know his family and, knowing them we would hear we were engaged in a few weeks. They gossip terribly, as much as i love them

Also we are only together because a load of mumsnetters gave me a kick up the backside, when I nearly walked away from him because I was scared of being in a relationship. Even though I knew I was in love with him and he felt the same. So he says he thinks I should always come here for opinions. He also knows MN'ers helped me get the courage to leave my exh. He knows mn has been a source of support for almost 10 years.

He has mentioned it a couple of times since and I am running out of witty comments to try and not answer outright. So far I am sticking with 'hmmm mumsnet says not' and laughing awkwardly.

Its is a fairly new relationship, but we have known each other as friends for a longer time. Briefly fwb and together properly for about 8 months. But being friends is different to a relationship.

He is a good one though. We weren't together when I got my house after I left my exh, but as a friend he was the one that helped me out, helped paint the kids rooms, helped move us in, always checks we are ok.

I am lucky to have him and I love But not ready to plan my next marriage.

This feels not so lighthearted anymore lol

OP posts:
Missmother · 25/02/2019 16:50

I’m into ‘signs’ and I would love to have a boyfriend who was too, as immature/silly/soppy as that may sound Grin

AbbieDabbieDoo · 25/02/2019 17:31

I'm not into signs and that kind of thing really, but if he's adamant that it's a sign he needs to buy you a ring then let him...and wear it on the other hand!

Original poster
Tennesseewhiskey · 25/02/2019 18:58

He would be gutted if he bought an engagement ring and I wore it on my other hand. Weirdly when I came home from work today, i keep getting as on my internet browser for engagement rings and jewelry. I am hoping that's because of this thread, rather than he has been using the wiki to look for one.

I don't want him to ask. Just want to be with him for now. I am happy as we are.

Will just try and gently put him off for while.

OP posts:
Missmother · 25/02/2019 19:23

It’s mad because most women have the opposite problem of men not wanting to commitGrin

Candidsugar · 25/02/2019 19:26

He wants to get married OP, that’s the only clear sign in this scenario.

AnyFucker · 25/02/2019 19:30

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