Possible trigger abuse when I was child advice needed

[Ellebear12]

Hi I’m not sure if this is right forum to post in if not can someone post me in the right direction to what forum would be best thanks , so it’s bit of long story from the age a was sexually active being 15/16 I am now 27 years old female I always felt sad after sex even when it was consensual I would cry hysterically afterwords I would feel dirty unclean just have very wrong horrible non self worth feelings I also then continued to be in a abusive relationship from age of 17 to just before 21st birthday which I would have sex just to avoid physical abuse beatings etc a then had another abusive relationship 21-23 years was mainly physical and financial abuse in 2015 a was raped was a one off occurrence it was someone I had two dates with that event triggered so much I diagnosed with ptsd anxiety didn’t leave house alone for a year etc currently possibly awaiting diagnosis of borderline personality disorder , sorry this is very long I’m coming to the point so after the rape in 2015 my doctor came to light that I had sti genital warts at age of two I was never aware of this until then I had recently got this printed of to which theirs 49 pages of visits back and forth and it was a severe case as I didn’t respond to treatemenf for two years and eventually had a operation under a general Anaesthetic now it’s noted parent had warts on hands but also noted very unusual for it to passed this way and I had the warts in vulva vagina and anus area and because it was such a sever case its been said it be more probable sexual abuse as it was such a severe case lot of things and feelings add up and behaviour as to possibly being sexual abuse and obviously I have been with partners and men from age of 17 on and off until 2015 I’m not sure what im looking for but if anyone can make any advice of this or any experience on this a also have my medical notes to hand sorry for very lengthy post
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Slightly confusing OP but I think you need professional help with this, not poorly informed guesswork about HPV etc. I'm sorry, you seem to have suffered at the hands of many abusive people, it isn't your fault obviously. Are there any obvious abusers in you background at the young age you mention and are you still in contact with them?
I would talk to your GP firstly and ask for referral to an appropriate service. I'm really sorry that life hasn't been great for you so far but you have a long life ahead of you

Pog100 my mum and father separated when a was baby so had step father around my mum and step father did occasionally hit me growing up I do remember small things being around various people growing up but apart from that I can’t , I have been referred to special mental health services currently on waiting lists I was just looking if their was any forum on here for such advice as my medical records I have read are obviously very confusing and their is mention of abuse in various notes and combining that with my feelings and behaviour it almost makes sense I still talk to my mum but I see her once or twice a year we don’t have normal relationship real father haven’t seen in 9 years thank you for your reply x

Sorry to hear of your trauma OP. Can I suggest talking to NAPAC. You can google them. Having a talk to them might be helpful.

Thank you noego I will have a look 💓