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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wife on the pill

22 replies

feelingblue12 · 22/02/2019 17:31

Hello, my wife and I have had a rocky few months and we haven’t been intimate in over a year!

I’ve said on a previous thread that I found out my wife had been texting another man from her work over Christmas. I don’t know if anything happened or not, but my instinct is saying she has been up to no good with him. We had a chat at new year and decided that we were pretty much over but will see how we stand after our family holiday in a few months.

Anyway, I was in the cupboard the other day in our room and I found hidden behind some clothes some Cilest tablets. Had to google it and found out they are birth control pills.

I asked my wife why she’s taking them and she said they were to bring on her period after she had stopped breast feeding. This was back in December btw.

I’m no expert, but I believed her.

The other day my daughter was in my wife’s make up bag, so I stopped her, but noticed 1 sleeve of tablets, which had been taken up to date (going by the day thing on the tablets).

I am just wondering if there are any valid reasons for taking the pill other than birth control?

I know they can stop a period (I think) if you take the pill for example if you are going in holiday and don’t want to be menstrating!

Can any females help me out.

OP posts:
honeylane · 22/02/2019 17:37

They can lesson the symptoms associated with periods, stomach cramps etc. Can improve acne. Also just give assurance on when your period is going to be.

I wouldn't be surprised if she took them for the reason given and then decided that she really gets on with them so has kept taking them. Or are you TTC?

What is your concern?

feelingblue12 · 22/02/2019 17:41

Hi. Thanks for the reply. I’m just concerned that she might be on the pill and having sex with this other guy. We are still together.

What does TTC mean? I’m new to this! Confused

OP posts:
feelingblue12 · 22/02/2019 17:43

Trying to Conceive? No.

OP posts:
Alienspaceship · 22/02/2019 17:44

I’m confused. What method of contraception did you think you were using?

53rdWay · 22/02/2019 17:44

If she’s taking them for contraception, does that necessarily mean she’s cheating on you? Maybe she just wants to make sure she’s covered if your sex life does get back on track? They work continuously, she can’t just pop one before sex and be covered.

It does sound like you’ve got bigger problems though. I think if you’ve reached the stage where both of you believe it’s ‘pretty much over’, you’d be best off just facing up to that and going your separate ways - or going to Relate or something if you think there’s still some chance of fixing it - rather than waiting to see if the family holiday in a few months will magically turn things around. I’m sorry, it’s clearly pretty horrible for you.

WheelyCote · 22/02/2019 17:48

Can help reduce pmt symptons....not having mood swings was enough for me to take it....being batshit a week a month was awful...id cry, think the wirld hated me, hated the world and wsnted tk eat everything insight

feelingblue12 · 22/02/2019 18:15

Not had my nat king in over a year so haven’t had to use anything.

That’s why I was asking because we weren’t having sex and she’s went on the pill all of a sudden, then I found out about this other guy, so I just assumed that she was taking the pill incase she got up to no good with this other man.

So I just wanted to know if there was any other reason for taking the pill than birth control.

OP posts:
feelingblue12 · 22/02/2019 18:16

Alienspaceship, that last reply was supposed to go to yourself.

OP posts:
Birdie6 · 22/02/2019 18:23

Women do take the pill for other reasons, but obviously the major one is contraception. Why she would be taking it, well only she would know.

To be honest, if you are pretty much finished anyway, why wait until your family holiday is over ? Considering the Pill situation it might be best to be a bit more proactive and start some talks about the future.

Shouldbedoing · 22/02/2019 18:28

If my marriage was on its last legs, I would want to risk getting pregnant. It only takes the once
Or even half an attempt as a colleague found out when their toddler interrupted then

Shouldbedoing · 22/02/2019 18:29

Would NOT want to risk it

Al2O3 · 22/02/2019 20:00

Your wife is taking the tablets for a 'legitimate reason'

but

she hid those tablets behind some clothes in the cupboard in your bedroom.

Right. Well, she is a bit stupid isn't she??

Al2O3 · 22/02/2019 20:01

Like "Don't tell him Pike" stupid.

Offside · 22/02/2019 20:09

I’m not sure I would buy her reason if I’m completely honest.

  1. your period returns naturally one you stop breastfeeding
  2. I’m not sure why anyone would want to encourage their period to return (or maybe that’s just me)
  3. was she taking any kind of contraception prior to TTC to regulate her periods? If not, I would find it suspicious
  4. why hide it if it was innocent
  5. I’ve never heard of taking the pill to restart your period, yes for all other reasons mentioned, but not for restarting (a quick Google doesn’t bring that up either) I could be wrong though, I’m no expert.

I would think it’s so she can have unprotected sex with the OM.

Karigan195 · 22/02/2019 20:16

Well maybe she’s taking it to control heavy bleeding or painful periods and maybe she did not tell you because she didn’t want to be accused of having affairs just because she’s using the pill.

PixiKitKat · 22/02/2019 20:19

That particular pill can also help if she has spotty skin

rumptifizzer · 22/02/2019 20:23

The fact she's hidden the pills, she's not been intimate with you shouts very loud to me that she's sleeping with the other man.

Why else would she hide them from you.

Tell her you know. Tell her you've spoken to him and he's admitted everything and see if she coughs. Take her phone before she can contact him. You'll get your answer.

FrozenMargarita17 · 22/02/2019 20:25

I take that pill for rosacea

Yutes · 22/02/2019 20:28

We had a chat at new year and decided that we were pretty much over but will see how we stand after our family holiday in a few months.

Think you need another chat to see where you stand. If you had decided you were over, then I would still assume that. And that she doesn’t want to work things out.

Offside · 22/02/2019 20:34

But if she was taking for a legitimate reason why would she have to lie about taking it to restart her periods. I think guessing what else she might be taking it for (except for the obvious) is irrelevant as if it was innocent she wouldn’t have to lie.

user1481840227 · 22/02/2019 20:51

I take the pill because it gives me glowy skin, means I get no PMS, and also I take them continuously so that I don't ever get periods!!

Al2O3 · 22/02/2019 22:50

Spotty skin,
Heavy bleeding,
Painful periods,
Rosacea,
Bloating,
Blah...yes

Then hide it behind the clothes at the back of the airing cupboard......

Grin
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