What do you do on mothers/Father’s Day if your NC or LC?

[ahhhhheckmecervix]

I want to go LC with my mother. I don’t think I am able to go NC completely but I’ve blocked her number for the time being and I feel far more relaxed.

I know Mother’s Day isn’t until next month but I have no idea what to do. Do I still get her a card? A gift?

My siblings will probably go to her house for the day and my dad will probably ask me and DH to go over which won’t be happening.

What do you usually do on these occasions?

I really hate mother’s day and she’s not been a fantastic mother in recent years to warrant anything. I’m also expecting DC1 at any moment so it’ll be my first mother’s day as a Mum.

I'm NC with my parents, and I do nothing for them on birthdays, mother's day, or any other occasions. NC means NC.

If she's not been a good mother then you have nothing to celebrate.

She’s not been a good mother in a really long time she’s been particularly awful during this pregnancy.

My dad enables her behaviour and my siblings have special needs so she doesn’t treat them the way she treats me.

It’s the longest I’ve stood my ground with her and so I’m having a bit of a wobble and experiencing FOG

Firstly I absolutely feel your pain here.

The answer is are you trying to have LC, in which case send a card for a quiet life

If you are trying to go NC do not send a card as it is an invitation for further contact.

I send birthday card but not a mother's day card. I'm in another country so it is easy to "forget" when MD is because it is s different day here March 19th is Father's Day, for example.

Wow this will be YOUR first ever mother’s day and you are worried about kowtowing to your toxic “D”M who has treated you badly during your pregnancy.

That is so so sad.

This is your joyous mother’s day to celebrate and cherish with your DC and DP. Crack on with that!

Im LC, I send a card ie observe the niceties but that's it.

Would not send a card, doing that will simply keep you mired in the FOG (fear, obligation and guilt). Be kind to yourself and do not feel obligated so.

Have a read also of the “well we took you to stately homes” thread on these relationships pages.

Thanks all.

It’s such a strange situation to be in as I hate arguements. It causes me horrendous anxiety but I really am done with her. She can’t change

I know if I get her a card it’ll be like “X didn’t get me a present. She’s being horrible to me” (she has a terrible victim complex)

She has had her motherhood - this is your time for motherhood now - focus on that.

My friend who is low contact and sends a bland card for an easily life.

Do you think that your DM will send you a card, gifts, flowers or host a lunch for YOU to celebrate your first mother’s day?

Because thus is what nice normal mothers would do......