Secret wedding.

[kaz86]

Me and my partner are getting married in secret, well our parents know however we are inviting no one, other than 2 witnesses. There is lots of reasons our main is money and we have 2 children with asd, one that gets extremely anxious is busy places (will run and hit when this happens). He can't cope at all with wedding receptions. So we couldn't invite every one and not do a reception.
We have been together 16 years. So really it's about being husband and wife for us.
Really after idea of how to tell family. I really wanted a poem that I could send to family and friends once married or a few days before. Any ideas? I don't know how to tell family. We don't want to start a war 🙄😂

I recently got married and like yourself I didn’t tell anyone, other than my parents (the day before wedding) and our witnesses we sent a picture of our rings and marriage notice to friends and family after our wedding breakfast 😇 If I was you I wouldn’t tell anyone untill right before ceromny or after it as you may have people turn up and the others who can’t be there might get upset? I think your idea of a poem sounds lovely and you’ll probably find everyone is happy for you both

"Dear all,

Sorry for the mass email but thought this was better to contact everyone at once!

This is just to let you know that we will be getting married this coming weekend, after 16 years I'm sure you'll agree it is more than time!

Due to various reasons, including health concerns*, we will NOT be having a public ceremony or reception.

I know you will all wish us well and we look forward to catching up soon.

Lots of love
kaz86, Mr kaz86 and DCs.

PS This is not a stealth hint that you should buy us a present! No gifts!"

Hope this gives you some ideas OP and congrats in advance!

• Only put this if your family does not include any drama queens just waiting to tell everyone you're dying of cancer.

I'd WhatsApp a photo to everyone after the event.

Get married.
Get someone to take a photo of you after the fact.
Send photo and email saying “we just got married!”

Ignore any dickheads.

You always have the option of posting a picture of the thing after the event with the tagline "so, this happened" on Facebook.

Life gets much simpler once you realise this is an option for almost anything!

I'd do as IvanaPee suggests - it keeps it casual and low key.
But you don't really need to announce it at all if you don't want to

Tell them afterwards. Version of notthefordtype's email but in the past tense.

Wait until AFTER the wedding to tell everyone. If anyone takes issue with it, ignore ignore ignore. Who cares what they think?

yeah just stick up an fb post and picture once you've done. a nice one, but you dont need to do anything you dont want to.

Tell after not before, like the idea of a photo of ye saying ‘ mr & mrs’, nice and simple.

Congratulations and can I just say how sensible you are to simply get married with no huge fuss and expense? Just tell everyone after the event and tell them how happy you all are. Best of luck!

Thanks guys :).
Really helpful suggestions.

For us it's not the day, it's just being able to be mr&mrs. 😃.

If you want to do it on your own terms and not start a war, definitely don't tell anyone until AFTER the event. A photo / email / WhatsApp / Facebook post is the most democratic way of doing it.
I went to a wedding like this once, (organised because the bride's parents' divorce was so acrimonious there was no chance of the getting them in the same room together) and it was lovely, one of the nicest I've been to. A bottle of champagne waiting on ice somewhere is all you need.

I agree wait until after the event.