Hi, I feel sick to my guts most days. The list of what I should do and not do seems endless. Like will I get re-percussions for something I've done or how I've done it.
I'm 52.married for 23 years to what I suppose some people would call a narcissist!.
Today for example I'm looking after my grandson while my daughter works.
My husband is off today but had got up before I came out, so before I'd left the house he was having a stab at me.
I've said that because he's off school I will be coming back accross home bit later for a bit to break the day up because he said he doesn't wNt to be stuck in the house all day.
For example of a few things. I have my grandson on average three days but that's taking him to school and picking him up. Prob have him for two hours after dependant on his parents shifts depends on what time I get home.
I have to chase my tail as well about meals as if it's after seven when I get home he moans about the evening meal and then won't eat.
I'm at home inbetween school runs so I see to the house washing etc.
He's either at work or off. He works from 8-2. Four days since he's had cancer treatment.
When I'm working and he's off he complains about taking me to work sys he's being a taxi man when he should be enjoying his day off but otherwise I have to pay for yet another taxi.
He moans hell of a lot about some of the most trivial of things. Including buying a bottle of milk which brings me on to another heartache.
Money! He says he pays for everything! Granted sometimes he does when it comes to large items but the bills we halve. I pay to the car but don't use very much ND still pay for taxis to wotk approx 80.00 a month.
I work on a hospital ward which is draining and have done for 29 years and I must admit I have had enough.
I'm feeling that whatever I do whenever I wNt to do it is wrong. I'm trying to work as he says I don't do enough. I try and do some extra shifts so he don't moan which I don't want to do.
Oh god I could go on and on. He is so lovely though but when he's vile he's vile. Just can't keep up with the I'd better not do that else I'll get moaned at.
It's not OK though when he loses his temper and smashes things tv, doors etc. I'm so fed up I don't know what I'm doing that's so wrong. 😞