Cheating husband

[broken84]

19 years together and married 4 and 4 times now but why ?

Has he cheated 4 times? If so, and you took him back, then my guess is that he does it because he knows he can. You deserve better though OP, he is putting your sexual health in danger as well as betraying you / your dc.

As previous poster said, he gets away with it. I assume you keep forgiving him?

Have you only just found out that he cheated 4 times?
You know this won't change.
If you forgive and he has no consequences, why wouldn't he continue to do it?
Do you have someone in real life you can confide in?
What do you want to do about it.
WHY? He does because he's a liar and cheat. There are many out there.
Question is, do you want to be with a liar and a cheat and someone you can never trust?
Do you want your DC to have this as a model for their future relationships?

So his cheated 4 times?

He keeps doing it becuase you act like a door mat and stay with him, there are no consequences so why would he stop?

If you don’t respect yourself then you know what his not going to either

Probably just for the variety, the excitement, a new body.

Unfortunately your forgiveness was seen as a green light to do it again.
Don't let it be 5 times op.

You knew about all the affairs after they began? So, the reason he cheated first time is something you'd have to ask him, the subsequent times it was largely because you rolled over the first time, sadly. His behaviour is vile and not your fault at all, but you need to change your response to it.

Apparently cheating can be genetic (DRD4 which predisposes people to high seeking including cheating) sometime way in the future well be able to check potential partners for cheating genes.

Another major factor is thought to be 'caretaker example' eg parents and their behaviour & attitudes.

Some people also have very low empathy and find it impossible to imagine how something feels for someone else or to put themselves in their shoes. They are usually sociopaths, at extreme end psychopaths.

He probably won't stop and no doubt he's hurting you, wrecking your self esteem, and risking your health: best to get rid.

He keeps doing it becuase you act like a door mat and stay with him, there are no consequences so why would he stop

This.

Get some self respect and dump his ass.

@Moralitym1n1 interestingly I’ve found out since my ex cheated, that his father cheated on his mother. They’re still together so it was never discussed until my ex turned out to be his fathers son.

He has no incentive to change.

@ComeonGordon - the fact she stayed with him would probably reinforce that it's 'normal' or ok to some degree.

Yeah you’re totally right. But I hopefully stopped it being “normal” and we’ll be divorced soon. I would be devastated if my boys thought that kind of behaviour in a relationship was ok

Respect to you Gordon and I'm sorry that's happened to you & your kids.

Thanks. They don’t actually know why we’re divorcing. I don’t think kids need to know all the details but I hope to be a positive influence and discuss healthy relationships with them in a way that they see that this isn’t how they should be in their future relationships. Can only try - got a long way to go

The question you need to ask yourself isn't why he does it....The real question to ask yourself is why are you accepting it??

Ahhh the good old bottom of the barrel cheated for "variety"
People who do this must have the attention span and sexual skill-set of a peanut.

Why in gods name do people who can't keep it in their pants (for whatever reason) get married??

The mind boggles...

@broken, can you elaborate?

He obviously feels selfishly entitled to seek ego-boosts and cheat. It wouldn’t be about you, but rather flaws in his character and weak boundaries.

Have you ever made him leave as a consequence?

Why doesn’t matter. What matters is why you’re putting up with it.

Why are you?