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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband sending money home (abroad)

26 replies

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 20:48

I’m in the process of sorting out a divorce, right at the beginning and my husband has started sending money home (out of the country) and I mean thousands out of our joint account. He claims that his mum really needs it (maybe she does) The lawyer I saw briefly said on paper husband looked financially good so couldn’t see a reason why I wouldn’t keep the house for me and baby girl. Now he is making himself look financially very bad. What am I supposed to do?

OP posts:

Sally2791 · 21/02/2019 21:07

Document every transaction, this is a joint asset and it's probably not the only sneaky trick he's playing. Make your solicitor aware

Honeyroar · 21/02/2019 21:14

You need to get a lawyer involved properly, not just have an initial consultation. You need to get them to stop him doing this quickly..

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:21

What happens if he needs to help her out, I do think she is in trouble so I don’t think it’s dodgy. He hasn’t asked me if I’m ok with it tho as he sees it as his money anyway. Would this money be taken into account or has it just gone now. I have got records of it going out the account. I also don’t think this is going to be a one off event, he is going to have to continue sending money.

OP posts:

SilverBirchTree · 21/02/2019 21:22

You need to see a lawyer today. I don't know what the law is where you are, but in my country you'd want to run to court for an injunction to prevent him from moving money offshore without your consent.

Do not wait. Even if you are found to have a 'right' to the missing money, good luck getting it back from overseas.

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:23

I shouldn’t have used the words claimed in original post as I thinks it’s a serious event.

OP posts:

SilverBirchTree · 21/02/2019 21:24

You could possibly look into documenting an agreement, where you consent to the money being given, but that it comes out of his share of the joint assets when they are calculated at the time of separation.

Again, I am not in the UK. Get legal advice ASAP.

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:25

I never wanted any of his savings/bank account money. We were going to work something out where he has less of the house equity but keeps his money!!

OP posts:

HermioneWeasley · 21/02/2019 21:25

Can you move half of what’s in the joint account to an account in your name only?

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:26

Sorry cross posted!

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:29

I’m not really worried about getting any actual money as I don’t want anything from him after years of control. I’m worried that the less money he has the more he will want from the house. It’s not my fault tho that he is earning lots but giving it away for whatever reason. If he wasn’t doing this he would have a good sum of money for a deposit.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:31

So far £7500 has been sent abroad!

OP posts:

timeisnotaline · 21/02/2019 21:32

You need to see a lawyer ASAP and push for this money to be included in his assets. I’d consider freezing the joint account, a good lawyer would know if that’s doable.

Motherofcreek · 21/02/2019 21:32

Get a better lawyer.

My friend was getting toasted by her ex as her layer was to relaxed. She changed lawyer and it all stopped.

Shop about for one that's got your back!

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:36

Just until I speak to the lawyer do you think that they would take money sent overseas as asserts still. The money will have been used tho it’s not in an account over there I don’t think, though it would have been transferred to one initially.

OP posts:

LeSquigh · 21/02/2019 21:51

Why aren’t you taking £7500 out too if it’s a joint account? I would take out exactly what he did!

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 21/02/2019 21:56

If I took that out the lawyer will think I have £7500 and him nothing as that’s all that’s in there really. He needs to look like he has money otherwise they will need me to sell the house or re-mortgage to give him some equity which I can’t afford to do.

OP posts:

Honeyroar · 21/02/2019 23:25

For now, take printouts or screenshots of the money being sent, for proof. And get the solicitor ASAP!

BertrandRussell · 21/02/2019 23:30

You really, really, really need a lawyer. Nobody in here can give you proper advixeZ

snowbear66 · 21/02/2019 23:34

You need to get it added to the assets urgently or he'll be after half the house.
Can you empty the account of your half?

Act quickly.

MillenialMum89 · 22/02/2019 00:56

I believe the law on the joint account is whoever withdraws first keeps it.

Thingsdogetbetter · 22/02/2019 05:17

It's a JOINT account. It won't be seen as his money or his assets in a settlement anyway, it will be seen as JOINT. Sounds like he's realised you are going to divorce him and is moving as much abroad as possible. What he has transferred already is unlikely to be viewed as HIS if he has transferred to mother's account for a valid reason. Especially if she has spent it already (ie bought assets in her name).

You have repeatedly posted about this, but seem to be very passive about actually getting proper legal advice. You need a solicitor asap. Get the joint account frozen asap before it vanishes. Stop depending on some vague plan in your head that YOU see as fair and get actual legal advise!!

Mistigri · 22/02/2019 05:31

If there is enough money in the joint account to send £7.5k overseas there's enough money to buy proper legal advice.

Do it today!

Original poster

Mummabear0306 · 22/02/2019 07:22

Yes sorry I did email the lawyer for an appointment last night just wanted some opinions. I’m really struggling at the moment.

OP posts:

Ellisandra · 22/02/2019 08:02

What lawyer did you see “briefly” who told you could keep the house?
You’re in for a rude awakening I fear.
I doubt you provided anything like enough information in a brief meeting for them to make that judgment.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/02/2019 13:25

he is going to have to continue sending money

He doesn't "have to" send money - he chooses to, and will probably send much more if he thinks the alternative's sharing it with you

You made it clear in a previous thread that your marriage was largely for him to get a visa, but are you actually married according to UK law now or is this something you're just assuming? Also does he work, and if so at what? (I'm thinking about whether there'd be proof of his salary)

Anyway, as PPs have said your main need is to get a decent lawyer - and fast

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