I've been a lurker / reader for a while, but this is my first time posting, so deep breath and here goes...
I've been married to my husband for 25 years and we have 6 children, eldest is 17, youngest is 4. We lived in the UK when we were first married and then moved to Egypt (where he's from) after 6 years when we wanted to start a family.
From Day 1, I was miserable there, but stuck in, learned the language, and made the most of it. We lived there for 18 years, and every year seemed to get harder than the last - I was homesick (I only came back to the UK twice in 18 yrs), DH's family were over-bearing, wanting a lot of his time for their problems, issues etc, and it increasingly felt like me / our children were his second priority.
The time is coming for our daughter to start thinking about University, so I suggested moving back to the UK, and DH agreed.
I was so so so so happy. I imagined us having the life we'd had before leaving, only this time even better because we could share it with our children.
Of course, reality is always different.
We returned last summer and.....it's been a nightmare.
The younger children are settling in wonderfully, but DH and our eldest daughter aren't. They moan about everything (it's too quiet, there's nothing to do, it's too expensive, etc etc), and are constantly making comparisons to Egypt. The unspoken resentment and blame towards me is making me totally miserable.
DH is taking our eldest daughter and son back to Egypt for a holiday over Easter. I'm staying behind with our 4 youngest... my birthday is that week and I'll be spending it alone.
I just feel so exhausted and despondent. DH has made it very clear that we're here only temporarily (until eldest daughter and son finish university). I don't want to return to Egypt. Every day I'm away, the harder it is to imagine going back.
I have no family of my own (I'm an only child, and my parents died over 10 yrs ago), and am very reserved irl, so don't have any friends or a support network to turn to for advice / to let off steam.
I don't really know where to go from here? I miss the man I used to be married to - we used to be 100% on the same page and have each other's back. Now it feels like a battle / blame game - if we stay in the UK, he'll be miserable; if we return to Egypt, I know I'll be miserable, and I also feel like I've 'done my time' and he should be willing to do the same here?