Flakey friends?

[Orangelover]

Anyone have this problem? Every friend I seem to have is an absolute flake. We'll have set a date/time and a rough plan and when I text to ask if they're on board they bail

I'm soooooo tired of hearing "sorry I've just been so busy" and "could we do it another time." I also have a full time shift working job, like to put in a bit of OT, own my own house and have hobbies yet still make time for people in my life. The worst offenders still live at home with parents, no kids etc, one is still at uni on her 382628th degree (nothing wrong with either of those things but am always met with excuses about how busy her life is... it's not).

The last few times I've sent an arsey reply back saying they obviously don't value my time as I've put a day/afternoon aside just to be dropped the day before.

I have a few friends that now live in different parts of the country and see them more than people that live up the road. Someone suggested to me that maybe I've grown apart from these friends which I know does happen, and that's fine - but they're always texting me asking to meet up! And we do have a nice time on the rare occasions when we do meet up.

Fed up of being everyone's last minute friend who they'll see if they can still be bothered but if not they'll just cancel. It's so frustrating. It almost feels as if a lot of people my age these days (mid 20s) are quite full of their own self importance and life is just a competition of how "hectic" everything is. I was having a conversation with some like minded people at work who happened to agree.

Anyone else find this?

They’re not arsed about you. People make time and respect the time of the people they care about. Sounds like it’s one sided and only you’re bothered. Leave them to it and focus on the friendships you have with people who care and make time to see you. The ‘busy’ thing is a cop out, everyone is busy but it takes seconds to send a message well in advance to let someone know you’re no longer free and they can plan something else. They’re just not that into you. I wouldn’t continue a friendship with people like this.

Ditch them. You deserve much better.

Ye had a couple of friends like this over the years, using understand why it's always them suggesting the night/day out in the first place then bail.
The trick is to know which ones are flaky and then pay them lip service, as in agree the the date/Time whatever but don't actually plan it.
One day it will bite them on the arse when you've not actually planned to spend the time with them and you can just excuse yourself with "Sorry you never follow through with any of your plans so I didn't take it seriously".
Focus on the reliable friends and distance yourself from the flakes.

Yes, and I have decided to to be that person for them anymore. I will get a text from xyz saying omg I have just been to NY and omg it was amazing, then followed with a suggestion of a lunch and coffee, I reply going oh hi yes that would be great, with no response for weeks until a repeat. No idea what goes on in such peoples heads

Oh OP! I know exactly what you mean. I have had my own share of flakes over the years. It used to really bother me but I’m much older now and I’ve mostly dropped them.
Life is too short to feel like someone’s second class friend.
Spend less energy on worrying about the flaky fuckers. That energy will then be freed up to attract more genuine people.

I had s friend like that who did it once too often so I dropped him. I advise you to do the same so you can focus on the relationships that are genuinely mutual (and on making new friends too).