Help

[emmaK567]

Ive found out the my partner deleted a message or messages to his brother I confronted him and he got defensive and angry but won't admit anything I gave him sometime and text him and he still won't admit anything even told him I'm ending the relationship if he doesn't own up to it and he's still denying it . I'm a mom for a little girl and pregnant. I want a life with him but don't want him to think this is ok and I no won't be able to trust him or feel safe if I don't get to the bottom of this ..He tries to be a good dad but I don't trust him with my little ones not that he'd mean to put them in danger but he doesn't see danger and doesn't know the ins and outs of my little one since he works long hours( he def does work long hours and isn't off cheating ) before I met him he was doing drugs and once when we were together I found out he was back smoking weed by going through his phone again he had deleted messages but missed one since that he does Radom drug tests . I don't want to split up the family don't don't know if I love him like I should but I'm happy being a family and he is good to me and the little one but I don't know what the message could of been ( we don't even have a good relationship with his family which makes me wonder even more )

How did you find out he had deleted a message. If it was a message to his brother what is the problem? It’d not like he was messaging another woman. Do you check his phone regularly?

I think I am missing a little context here, what's the issue with deleting a message from his brother? I don't understand.

What's wrong with messaging his brother? How would you feel if he kicked off at you for messaging your family?

Your post is very confusing.

What's the issue here? Why shouldn't he text his brother?

How do u know he has deleted a message from his brother and what is the problem with him messaging his brother?

Assume you are concerned that the deleted texts are in relation to drugs, again. For me the fact that you can't trust him around you LO's is more of a concern. You have to put their safety and welfare first...

Checking communications and doing drug tests sounds like the job description for a prison warden. Is that what you think you need to be in a relationship?

At the end of the day unless you resort to violence or abuse you can't control someone else. And why would you bother and even want to. Its pretty pointless behaviour that just feeds your doubts and anxiety. It will never get rid of them, because you will either find nothing and assume he is lying or concealing it or you will find something. Not being with him is a solution but you will have to come to terms with his responsibilities as a father because he will get access if he wants it.

The drug tests demonstrate that is not a risk to him as a parent. You can't use lack of experience or opportunity as a reason otherwise nobody could ever parent.