epiphany moment.

[lifegoes]

Not sure if you remember my posts where I was in a "relationship" where it turned out I was actually the OW I never knew I was. And I ended up having to ask the wife as he swore he wasn't with her.

It's been a struggle as it come to light how badly I'd been manipulated, gaslighted, lied to, controlled by a narcissist. However you want to call it.

That hurt and was hard to process as I still blamed myself, felt pathetic for believing him, hurt and foolish for trusting him. For falling for him.

Over the past few days more things have come to light from people who know him and it turns out he has an awful reputation in his field of work for this. I've heard more stories about him.

Only now am I starting to realise I've done nothing wrong and this wasn't my fault. He's like this as a person.

Was wondering if any of you have overcome a narcissist person, and what was your moment. Or advice on how you continued to feel strong. I don't want to fall back to how I felt. (I am having therapy too).

My narc was/is my mum who I am now no contact with. I remember where I was when I suddenly realised that I was so tired of carrying around the hurt and anger. The energy it was taking wasn’t worth the feeling.

Of course I am not 100% over it, I never will be, but I am at peace with it.

Don’t hold onto that negative energy for too long. It’s exhausting. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. It will become a regret and everyone has regrets (best advice my brother has every given me)

All those words you now know, gaslight, narcissism etc, so many people don’t even know that there are people out there that can do that.

Now you do, the future is bright because you won’t fall for it again.

And at the end of the day, thank the gods that you aren’t his wife.

That's so true @Aussiebean it wasn't until I started to read things on here and then thinking about what he did and said. I realised how bad he was and how stupid I was to not see it. To which I blamed myself for ages, I realised I had changed as person with him.

But now, I know he's done this with others and his friends actually say "he's got an awful reputation for it, he needs help" it makes me feel better

I'm sorry to hear this was your mum, that must have been awful. But good to know you are at peace with it now. 😘