My girlfriend has bad nightmares what's the best thing to do to help her?

[callofdutyslayer]

We both sleep in bed together and I always wake up to her crying, yelling,screaming while she's having a bad dream what's the best thing for me to do? I'm her boyfriend we're both 19 we live together

she should speak to her go. sounds like night terrors

It is and im very worried about her

Lol probably a good call to make a new thread :)

I did reply on the other one. My partner gets these. I just cuddle slightly wake him up and make soothing noises then both fall back asleep.

It’s sleeping on his back which is the trigger for him so see if there’s a trigger for your gf so she can try to avoid it

ok thank I'll try that.

Yes don't think you'll get much help from the other thread I also replied on your other thread. Is she stressed or worried about something? I often scream and have been known to almost hit people in my sleep when stressed. It's not so bad for me but hell for those around me. If there is anyone she can talk to if she's worried, or perhaps better still see her GP, that may help. All you can do is be there for her. Good luck!

I think she’s upset you no longer call her princess

I really know I looked at her pills just too make sure and even asked and called the doctors too see if the pills were the cause of this and they said yes.

im gonna go bed im sleepy I got school tomorrow and also Princess can also be used in a relationship I just call her my princess because I'm over protective over her irl

Probably not relevant at all in your girlfriend's case. But I used to have really vivid 'wake up screaming and thrashing about' style nightmares, and often the same nightmare scenario repeated, right through until I was 45. I haven't had a single one of these after my ADHD was diagnosed at 45. I guess that having the diagnosis gave me a conscious/subconsious peace of mind I hadn't had before. I sometimes have bad dreams now but nothing of the sheer terror I used to feel.

I really know I looked at her pills just too make sure and even asked and called the doctors too see if the pills were the cause of this and they said yes.

Jesus, I just commented on your last thread saying that being 'overprotective' over an equal adult partner is a sign of abuse.

And here it is. That, if it is true, is a huge invasion of her privacy. I hope she wises up to you. You have no right to look at her medication or speak to anyone else about it behind her back.

You could talk to her. That's what real life grown ups do.

Are you not in the U.K.? Especially as you say you have school tomorrow.

Sounds like night terrors.
Does she have anxiety, OP?
I get those sorts of dreams when I'm feeling very stressed, and I have struggled with anxiety and PTSD for most of my life.
They flare up at times of high stress... i usually dream about spiders or ants in the bed, and start thrashing about and screaming..sometimes I wake myself up. DH just reassures me by saying "It's okay, you're just dreaming" and usually I'll fall back asleep.
Best thing for me has been seeing a counsellor or therapist to deal with the underlying stress causing the dreams.

I;m not abusive I just wanna help her not have anymore bad dreams

Is she affected by the bad dreams? Does she want to try to stop/reduce them?

callofdutyslayer

How old are you?

When I was in my late teens, I had a friend who was 'overprotective' of me. He told me he wanted to wrap me up in cotton wool and put me in a jar on a shelf and keep me away from all the bad in the world.

He didn't call me his princess, but he definitely had expectations of how I should behave given that I was a delicate girl. He used similar language to talk about me.

A few years later, we ended up dating because I didn't recognise the warning signs in his behaviour. His desire to protect me extended to not wanting me to drink pints of beer because of how other men might perceive me; to not want to visit him at his place of work (he was a bar manager at the time) in case the predatory older men hit on me; and trying to control where I went to on my own so that I wasn't 'at risk'. All done under the banner of he just wanted to help; he just wanted to protect me and he just wanted to look after me.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt for a moment and assume that you are just young and think this is how men should behave and regard their women.

It's not.

19 and I let her do what she wants when she wants too I didn't mean by making and forcing her to do what want I meant it in a very good way like being there for her when she's hurt or sad or scared I didn't mean it in a bad way. ;.;

You can offer affection and support, and suggest that she seeks medical advice, but her health and wellbeing is for her to take decisions about.

Calling her doctor was inappropriate: breach of her privacy. It’s not “caring” to do things like that, or to seek to “protect” people.

no she told me to because she was scared still so I did

Ok, it's just a very infantilising way to talk about a grown woman and that along with looking at her medication... overprotective is not a good look. She's no less capable than you are

I just tried everything that people were telling too least try and it seems to be working for us. She's asleep on me I let her cuddle me up while she's sleeping so she won't be scared anymore while she's sleeping.

She asked you to call her doctor? She is an adult and could seek health professionals’ advice for herself.

Your relationship sounds co-dependent.

I'm quite sure doctor won't speak to you without her permission. My oh has bad dreams if he's cold or hungry in the night.

She should see gp and discuss,,also get counselling