Is husband being disrespectful or not

[GreenBanana321]

Literally just now - I'm talking to him about what we should do for sons birthday, he's half listening while on his phone game app that he's always on.

It's become normal that his hand is glued to his phone and eyes and he'll look up every now and again to me to show me that he's listening or pretending to listen. He'll chuck in a "yes" or "uh huh" to whatever I'm talking about.

But just now as I was talking with him half listening/pretending to listen while playing on his phone I said I really feel like I live on my own all I want is to have a conversation with someone. To that he just looks at me then looks back down at his phone then just gets up to pop outside for a fag. He's just come in and said nothing and is still playing his phone game

What would you make of that?

Sounds like he's checked out of the relationship, sorry. You need to tell him how this is making you feel and go from there. He is probably not doing it on purpose to annoy you but it's not good.

Ask him to put his phone down and listen to you. And then tell him (again, with more urgency) you’re lonely and feel ignored and patronised (because all those meaningless verbal nods are patronising). And see if he wants to contribute to your relationship or continue to let it slide.

Maybe you could both come up with some ideas - specific parts of the evening where you properly talk, and reconnect?

Tell him to put the f*cking phone down and ask him what's more important, playing a crap game or organising something for your child's birthday !! If he doesn't react quickly, that should be a good enough reason to make your own mind up what you should do or say next

Oh fgs why do some posters always assume that either the husband has checked out the marriage or he’s met somebody else, just because there’s a problem?!

Tell him to put the bloody phone down!!!! Have you spoken to him about this? I wouldn’t say he’s checked out of your marriage but it is disrespectful and you need to have a chat about it.

I wouldn't say his behaviour means he's checked out of your marriage (it might be the case, we don't know obviously), but he does sound ridiculously immature. It's his DS's birthday party you're talking to him about, he damned well should be interested enough to put his phone away!

Oh fgs why do some posters always assume that either the husband has checked out the marriage or he’s met somebody else, just because there’s a problem?!

Agreed. Mumsnet wouldn’t be Mumsnet though without a classic over reaction

OP, tell him to put the phone down as you want to talk. It’s weird how talking to someone why they’re in the middle of a film would be seen as rude, yet this scenario gets the reverse treatment

If my husband does that, I say "I'm leaving you and going to live with the milkman" just to check if he's listening