Anonononymous

[Anonononymous]

I'm guessing this is easier after longer term relationships but recently had a guy I was dating for a few months change his mind and now says he can't do relationships. We care about each other but clearly he's decided he can't do it.

Initially I couldn't talk to him and thought I'd just keep away and see but I've caved after a few days. I'm hurting elsewhere with life stuff going on so I can't cope with deciding to cut him out one way or another.

Is this a bad idea? Anyone made it work? Anyone 'won" them back? Anyone managed to let their feelings change to friends only too? I'm probably setting myself up for more hurt but I am just delaying for now because of everything else going on.

It's a bad idea if you're hanging out for him to change his mind and focusing on winning him back.

It's not a bad idea if you're just "parking it" to deal with later - (although inertia will be a force that keeps you in something unsatisfactory if you're not hard-headed about it later on). If you need the contact and can enjoy it for what he's actually offering right now, then do what you need to do. But be firm with yourself in that's a choice you're making, and that's what it is - don't delude yourself.

It'll be less painful to do it now than after he gets a new girlfriend and you realise you have to cut him off then.

If you're committed to actually just being friends then maybe you can be friends. But not if you're wishing for more.