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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone an expert on Google Hangout?

30 replies

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 14:46

‘D’H has a female colleague listed on his frequently contacted list but no chat history for her. Plenty of other chats there so he has deliberately hidden her. Anyone got any advice on how I can look at their history? Thanks

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HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 14:49

No help here but also interested in this.

What is google hangouts used for, gmail contacts ?

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 14:53

I’m not entirely sure to be honest. I’ve never used it but it’s the way DH and all his colleagues communicate at work. I think it may be a bit like Facebook Messenger but linked to email contacts?

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/02/2019 14:54

My "frequently contacted" on google hangouts are people I worked with four years ago and haven't spoken to since, but that's because I don't use it and it's awful at updating.

That said, if he's having chats (and not calls), it's weird that no history shows. I've got a chat showing history from years and years ago.

Do you have access to his email?

mynameiscalypso · 19/02/2019 14:56

We use Hangouts at work but it's set to delete conversations after a few days. Similar to the above poster though, my frequent contacts are always a bit bizarre. There are people I talk to everyday but my frequents are people I have spoken to once or twice months ago. I also have no idea who one of them even is!

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 14:57

He definelty has chatted with her recently as a message popped on his lock screen from her at the weekend, but no chat history when I went into his phone.

I can access his phone but not sure about email. It’s his work email/phone. I know the password to his phone but don’t know how easily I can get into email.

OP posts:
HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 14:57

I think it is also used for google+ contacts too.

Hopefully someone will be here to help shed light on the app.

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 15:55

I did find some WhatsApp messages a month or so ago. He’d sent them from a sporting event at a weekend. I told him I didn’t think it was appropriate to be messaging female colleagues at the weekend and he deleted to the WhatsApp messages. Now it seems they’re using Hangouts.

The WhatsApp messages didn’t suggest he was up to anything but why else would he be messaging her at weekends if there wasn’t some intention/desire to be something other than colleagues?

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palmtree80 · 19/02/2019 15:59

What did the messages say?

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 16:01

WhatsApp messages were selfies of him at a big sporting event, so not work related. Message that popped up on Hangouts was something like ‘was this your doing?’ He said it was related to a work event but obviously no history there for me to see.

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palmtree80 · 19/02/2019 16:13

Definitely sounds dodge OP. Hope a tech wizz will have some answers for you

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 16:16

Thank you. It’s the hiding of the messages that bothers me. He obviously doesn’t want the messages to be seen by anyone else.

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HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 16:27

If the messages were transparent and 'innocent' there would be no need to remove/hide them.

I think if you can get into the laptop, you might be able to restore archived chats - so a quick google told me.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 16:29

X post with Santaclarita.

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 16:36

Thank you. I’ll have to try and get hold of his laptop. He actually works out of the country 3 days a week. I believe, at least sometimes, with her. He’s due back late tomorrow night.

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pog100 · 19/02/2019 16:40

you can, and I think often do, set Hangouts to have no history, it's a simple toggle switch for each contact. I expect he has it set this way for her. Whether this means anything bad, I have no idea. I have sometimes accidentally set that switch off, so it could be innocent. On the other hand it's quite convenient if he wanted to keep a clean sheet as it were. I suppose it could be the norm for work? To be honest I don't think this level of suspicion bodes well for your relationship. Is it deserved?

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 16:47

Pog, there is history and chat with other colleagues, but not her, so I don’t think it is the norm for work. I know they have messaged recently as his phone was on the kitchen side and a message from her popped up.

Unfortunately he does have form for messaging other women, usually work colleagues. No sexual context that I’ve found, but suggestive and beyond the boundaries of work colleagues.

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user1479305498 · 19/02/2019 16:53

just to say OP, my H used to delete everything that an attractive single mum employee of ours used to send him and she communicated with him 'far' too much at all times. I was naturally very suspicious but When I actually managed to get crafty and see the conversations, they were complete tittle tattle crap. We did have it out and I asked why he deleted her stuff and no one elses and he said he felt it would 'annoy me' the amount she communicated but at the time we did need her for a particular work thing. So he hid to not annoy me but ended up annoying me more!.

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 16:58

User, that has crossed my mind. Because of his history, I wonder if he is hiding them because she’s a female work colleague and he doesn’t want me to think the worst or get the wrong end of the stick, but it’s having the opposite effect and making me even more suspicious.

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HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 17:27

You aren't on your own @BoredofGin - having the same issues here. I haven't seen any content or who the contacted is but it is going on.

Phone usage is ridiculous as is tilting screen or keeping in his pocket apart from sleeping.

I'm keeping very very quiet and waiting for the evidence.

Thoughts!

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 17:35

Bungalow, sorry to hear it’s happening to you too. Do you know passwords etc to get into his phone. Can you get hold of it whilst he’s asleep?

DH is away at least 3 days a week and does lots of corporate entertaining. He has plenty of time to send all the messages he wants. I think he thinks he’s clever by auto deleting the chat history, but I’ll get to the bottom of it all eventually.

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HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/02/2019 17:45

No I don't know any passwords on any device of his . OH has form too I let it go and believed his 'story' last time. He doesn't get a second chance with me.

OH can work 50-60 hr weeks too I didn't think he would be brazen and continue this shit at home too.

Like you, I will get to the bottom of it.

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 17:53

What happened last time Bungalow? Do you have DC’s?

With my DH it was messaging a female colleague who was off sick telling her she was awesome and he missed her and signed off saying lots of love and a string of kisses. All completely out of character. His excuse was she’d been in an accident and he felt sorry for her.

Another time was a former colleague messaged him saying she’d had a dream about him. Que flirty response from him.

I think this is the beginning of he end for us.

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CheekyFuckerHQ · 19/02/2019 18:01

I think this depends on the settings of both users. I assume my boss has his messages set to delete straight away, for example we had a conversation on hangouts this morning while he was in a meeting and couldn’t speak. I went to give an update this afternoon and the messages were gone. This doesn’t happen with all of my contacts so nothing to do with my settings.

BoredofGin · 19/02/2019 18:04

Useful to know Cheeky, thank you. I will try and get into his settings and see if it’s deleted from his end. If not, I’ll assume it’s her.

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