ExP is engaged... I'm feeling a bit pathetic!

[Didyeeaye]

So ExP and I were together 5 years and split over 3 years ago. We have one beautiful son (4) and he is a great dad. We splig custody 3 nights with dad 4 with me.
ExP cheated on me when DS was a baby. The affair lasted several months and after finding out I tried to forgive him but couldn't move past it so we split after about 7 months trying to make it work.
He was seeing the girl he cheated with on off but met another woman and has been with her over 2 years. I've just found out from DS they are engaged. Apparently ex dis a grand proposal and sang etc...
I'm feeling like shit today. We were together 5 years and he couldn't even be faithful to me let alone a grand proposal!
I know I sound pathetic but need a hand hold if possible.

I’d rather be on my own than being with a dirty cheat.

Keep in context that an engagement is legally worth the square root of fuck all. Celebrating your escape would be my advice

Hand hold

It’s natural to feel a bit like this. How is your life going post split? Sometimes when it isn’t going as well as you want, it’s easy to fixate on something like this.

Thank you.
You are probably right, CJ357119 I was seeing another guy for almost 2 years but we split in October so it's probably hurt my self esteem a bit. I know it's silly but I'm feeling like it's me atm x

Listen to Whitney! “i’d rather be alone than unhappy...”

You don’t know what the real state of their relationship is and if it’s good quality (and if he’s even loyal to her!), but more importantly keep looking ahead and focusing on you. He was no good to you, even on the most basic point of being faithful. You keep on doing you and keep your head held high

Good for you for having another relationship - 2 years is nothing to be sniffed at! And better to be discerning and have standards than settle. A man won’t make you, a man won’t break you. But normal to have down days, be super nice to yourself

Why on earth would someone want to marry him, if he can't stay faithful?
Don't be jealous, have a bit of sympathy for her, she will be in your boat one day too

Ha! Grand proposal sounds like something a typical cheat would do, sod that! They are good in putting on a show.

You're not missing out, I'd be drinking a glass of red ( wait until 5pm if you're at work )knowing he's Mr insatiable and would be cheating on the poor lass in the nearest future.

By the way, you don't sound pathetic, we're humans and some feelings can be helpless. X

You are only envious of an illusion - what you wanted it to be. He is not that man. He never was and never will be for her either.

Keep making progress in your own life. Be proud that after 7 months of trying to live with his shit you found the focus to leave. Take strength from that.

What went wrong with the 2 recent year relationship?

You should feel relieved that your out of his life.

My ex was caught in bed with a married man by the wife. The marriage ended and ex and this fella got married.

Several years later he cheated on her. I met her several relationships later and when she told me her story the hurt and pain was still there.

It’s one of the reasons I was happy for her to move in with me and saved up all that was lost in the devorce settlement.

Men like these never change.

He can sing all he likes, he won't make a good or faithful husband. His cheating was about him, not you.

I know how you feel though, it's completely natural. You will meet someone better soon and look back and laugh at how you felt today.

No doubt he'll soon cheat on her too. You're well rid.

He sang when he proposed!!!! What a twat. He's all show.

You will find someone who deserves you OP.

Engagenent is legally worth the square root of fuck all

This, OP. Your worth is not measured by him. Hold your head high.

I know how you feel. My ex moved on really quickly, so quickly in fact I know he must have had her on the radar before I dumped him. He was a cheat, cheated on every partner he has ever been with. And I know no woman will change him. Be glad he is your ex and you are no longer having to be weighted down by the crippling thought of what he is up to once your back is turned. I for one am so glad I am rid. You deserve a man who treats you right, not some egocentric entitled man child with no morals.

@Didyeeaye I know exactly how you feel -- I split from my H of 20 years less than 4 years ago. He moved in with someone last September then got engaged last month. I don't want him back, no feelings for him but did feel incredibly hurt that he could move on relatively quickly (it seems quick to me) from such a long marriage.

Then I realised that she will be the one who carries him through their time together, looks after him, makes decisions cos he's too wet to do it for himself and puts up with his stupid drunken and boorish behaviour. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad

Thanks for the support everyone. It's exactly what I needed to hear.
Interestingly he rarely mentions the new mrs and goes out his way to keep us apart when they pick up/drop off DS. ( he leaves her in the car despite me saying she can come in for a cup of tea) I would never be nasty or mention the cheating but I wonder what he has told her lol.
I don't want him or particularly miss him and he is fantastic with DS so I can't complain but it stings a bit that he wasn't like that with me and couldn't be a faithful for our boy.