Is this just want being too sensitive?

[lifestooshortandsoami]

Am currently having to rest due to a serious injury. Am trying to do what I can but it's difficult as in a lot of pain. We both usually do jobs around the house but I usually do more of the day to day stuff especially things like tidying things away, sorting clothes out and all the little bits.
DH is trying to do the stuff that I can't do and is doing lots (I'm ignoring the stuff he isn't doing as I realise is hard for him too and he can't do everything) however he is acting like it is such a hardship/ awful time.... so huffing and sighing every day about what needs doing and how messy the house is etc etc. He is a very negative person and will always complain about how hard life is. I'm usually the upbeat keep going partnofbthe relationship.... he has had many times over the years when he's not been able to partake in family activities or help round the house due to his health and I feel that it's not often I ask for him to help me. And now when I need him it's like I'm an inconvenience . He's just seems so angry and fed up with me.
I have felt very emotional due to the pain, and the fact I've felt isolated (off work and having to rest foot) and unable to just get on with stuff so I don't know if I'm reacting to how he's being too much. I understand it's hard for him but he's only doing what any parent would have to do? And I'm trying not to ask for stuff that I need help with (although I feel I should be able to ask?).
Sorry for going on!!
Is it a man thing to act like it's so difficult and am I just being an emotional idiot that needs to rest and then just get on with it? Or isn't he being a bit of a git?

Remember it well. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to say. Do call him out on his behaviour. But it does make things worse but please continue.

Stop apologising firstly OP, you’re not going on. Do you think you subconsciously typed that, as a result of how your DP is around you?

He’s being a prize twat, it isn’t you

You are not being an idiot he is. It isn't a man thing it is a DH thing. Pull him up on it. Point out the times you have had to look after him and now you need that love and care reciprocated.

for you OP. I hope he gives his head a wobble soon.

How long have you been laid up?

I ask because last year DH had an injury that meant he was unable to walk/get around for the best part of 3 months.

As well as working full time and looking after the kids, I was doing everything around the house and everything for him.

Initially I was patient, kind and understanding. Towards the end I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t becoming short, fed up and a bit of a complainer.

We aren’t all born natural nurses...and it does sound like he’s trying. Can you get a family member or friend to pop over and give him the day off perhaps?

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you!

@NameChangeNugget I'd not even realised but yeah you're right. I've been saying sorry a lot recently for something I can't even help!!

DH has always struggled with depression/ anxiety so I think I've always been the constant that keeps stuff going... now I'm not able to it's made me realise how much I do practically and emotionally. I'm not even really bothered about the practical stuff it's more the lack of feeling loved? I know he loves me but surely if you love someone you should want to try and look out for them when you really need them not make them feel like they're being a pain in the arse??

Painkillers and me feeling sorry for myself are prob not helping me deal with the situation in the best way tho

I have called him out on his behaviour but I have the feeling he eventually agreed that he was being like that to stop the conversation rather than fulling taking it on board. In lots of other ways he is great and would be the first one to offer to help others? It's almost like he views me as self sufficient (if that's the right words) so when I'm not he doesn't know what to do??

It's week 3 but he's been like this since week 1....

he has done loads but he has also been out to the pub at least twice every week so whilst he's doing loads he has escaped too!

It's a good point about him not being a natural nurse! Thinking about it he's like that a bit when the kids have a bit of a bump or are ill... it's like he doesn't know what to do so ends up acting off with them?!

I get where you're coming from, OP. Will never forget the day after I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and was sitting on the couch at home. DH was making dinner and his nose was out of joint because I was not helping him to make dinner. He huffed and sulked and pointed out that even if I couldn't stand, I could still sit at the counter and help. So much sympathy and pity for himself with a man cold etc., retires to bed for a couple of days, but nothing to give when the situation is reversed.

It resonates with me too about how your partner is with the kids when they are sick. In my experience, the problem seems to me that dh cannot stand not being the centre of attention and resents when people are ill because now it's not all about him.

Awful, I honestly wouldn’t want to share my life with a man that resented me being incapacitated that’s really horrific if I was you once better I’d be saying goodbye.

Hm so it seems that it's a bit of a male thing for some? I'd understand it more if they didn't expect the sympathy and looking after when ill but it's the one rule for one and not the other that gets me. Dh is the sort of person that falls asleep upstairs on a weekend afternoon regularly cause he's tired.... when me and the kids re here doing stuff/ gone to the park etc?!

@Adora10 I completely get where you're coming from and it isn't nice at all I agree. Day to day it's not bad though, and in a lot of ways he is great and does lots f practical things it's just his approach towards me and the situation. And it's just now being physically unable to do stuff that I've realised how he behaves and his attitude. I've also had a lot of time to think about things and also what I want my life to be like.