Boyfriend Asking Ex To Take Him Back

[RedLipClassic]

Hi everyone, hoping for a little insight, thanks.

I've been with my bf for 6 months. We had a rough start as we both left our partners to be together and he had to leave the house he bought with his ex and move into the flat I share with my housemates but it has felt worth it as we've been so in love and seemed to be on the right track.

However, last week I found messages he had sent earlier in the week to his ex asking her to take him back. Saying he had made a mistake and wanted to spend his life with her. I found the messages as he had been signed into messenger on my tablet and must have forgot to sign out so it was a total shock. When I confronted him he didn't try to deny it and I asked him to leave.

The next day though he was sending me so many messages saying that he did want to be with me and had just been down about missing the life that he had built with his ex and didn't actually miss her. He says he knows I am the one for him and he feels so stupid for what he has done. He says he'll get rid of social media and be totally transparent with me if it makes me trust him again.

I want to believe we could make things right because I have never felt this way about anyone before, I feel so deeply in love with him and am sure he is who I'm meant to be with. I am worried though because his ex turned him down and I can't stop wondering if that's why he's trying to make things right with me.

My two friends that I have told are basically in agreement that I would be mad to try again with him as I have no ties to him eg. marriage, kids, mortgage and they are saying that the fact he left his ex for me and now has done this is proof that he is at heart a dishonest person. But they don't know how he is with me and how he makes me feel.

Any impartial advice would be so appreciated.

I think you know the answer already, had his ex accepted him back then he would have gone back and not thought twice about the impact on you.

You say he’s saying all the right things now, of course he is because she (quite rightly so) told him to F OFF.

Don’t be second best, cut and run and go and find someone who won’t sneak around behind your back, he will never change and will only hurt you longer down the line when temptation strikes.

Your friends are right.
He has absolutely no loyalty to you, had the ex taken him back he would have swanned off without a second glance.
Sadly I imagine that, to him, you are a stop gapuntil either ex takes him back or he finds someone else.
Do not let yourself be used like this, you deserve more.
It may be hard to let him go now, but the longer you wait fr the inevitable the worse it will be.

Sorry, but you are Plan B.
Bin him.
Chalk it up to life experience.

Move on.

I think you should move on too. You'll always be worrying if he really wants you or if it's because she didn't want him, he saw you as an option.
And if it's not her, it could be someone else in the future. He doesn't sound as though he loves you or cares about being loyal to you, so I would get rid and find someone who treats you better.

I would say he's only saying this to you as he now finds himself with no roof over his head.

Of seriously, he needs to fuck right off.

Why do you think so little of yourself? And why on earth would you be living with someone (so untrustworthy) after only six months.