Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Changing mindset

3 replies

Sparkly666 · 17/02/2019 19:14

Hey all :)

I was in an abusive relationship, nothing physical, but all of the emotional, gaslighting rubbish you could imagine! It lasted for a decade.
I'm now in a wonderful relationship with the most caring, amazing man. However I still feel the old panic when I say/do something that would have upset my Ex, new bf has never given me cause to panic, it just feels like a reflex responce.
Anyone been though this that can give me hope that this will eventually pass?!

Thank you all Flowers

OP posts:
noego · 17/02/2019 19:40

The good news is that you recognise it. The behaviour you describe has become habitual.
It takes time to break habits. But you know a habit can be broken. Be optimistic. Its great that your DP doesn't react, learn from that.
Flowers

sparkly666 · 02/03/2019 22:15

Thank you @Noego I can recognise it, but I also feel that I'm only realising the extent of the abuse now. My reactions to my new bf are a result of this, but I'm so worried about damaging this relationship because of the problems from the last. I'm always apologising for things and new bf just laughs and tells me not to worry.
He's amazing, and I've never been this happy before. I don't want to ruin this. Can anyone help?

OP posts:
pog100 · 02/03/2019 22:38

If he is genuinely nice, and it sounds like he is, then this isn't going to ruin anything, is it? He gets you. You will relax eventually, just chill.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread