Help...husband left and i am truly heart broken...
me and my H have been together for 19 years married for 11 and have a ds of 5 years. we have had a really good replationship but over the past few years its been abit difficult. we have had bereavements of friends (one of which my husband friend who sadly took his own life) and family along with other things. My H has been very distant and turned into a workahokic and evey evening he went to the gym or work. even on my birthday i was by myself...ive been so lonley but i never complained. i was on my own for most of the time and felt we no longer had family time. we tried to talk but he would not communicate. during this time we still had sex althouhh not much and said we love each other alot. dont get me wrong, when we did have time together it was great
. it all came to blows in November when an old ex messaged me to see how i was...how was the family etc. we exchanged afew messages back and forth...we have a mutual friend and we were talking about going to her party etc. it was nice to have a catch up and there was no flirting or anything. i did end the message saying i would have to go as H would be back soon and he wouldnt like me messaging an old ex and that i would message him tomorrow or through the week. the following day he messaged a couple of times, general chit chat like i was talking the dog for a walk and that was it. i deleted the message.
a few days later H asked who have i been messaging (i didn't think of last week and said no one as id completly forgot!). then he said whos and i oh yeah..we did and we chatted for abit. apparently * girlfriend saw this on his phone and contacted my H through facebook and sent screen shots. H was very angry told me it was over well and he moved out 2 weeks later.
I have expressed how sorry i am and that it really didnt mean anything (it really didnt...i love my husband and would never cheat!). He said hes a broken man and has been for sometime. hes guilty that he hadnt really spent much time with DS and that he was moving out for space. he said the message was the icing on the cake. i feel he hasnt been himself for quite sometime.
we have tried to talk but hes so angry..he was on and off over xmas untill he said he can no longer see a future with me...just DS.
we are currently going to counciling but he sees this as a way to seperate amicably rather than get back together. he blamed me for everthing and is very angry.
i have been a good wife and a good mother. I truly regret the message with ex but there really was nothing i it.
i feel completly heartbroken and now since been diagnosed with depression. im not sure where i go from here. H was still continuing to to come round to the house to see DS a few times a week and has him for 1 night at the weekend. H is living with his mum for now. when he comes round hes polite and even toy fighting. last week we took DS swimming and we all had tea together...it was lovley...really was. and since been cold towards me again. i have tried to back off abit and hes making the decisions so im not sure what else i can do. i just want him to realise how much he means to me. xxx