Ex boyfriend advice

[daisyjoy990]

I need some advice if possible (please be gentle as hurting badly at the moment!). Me and bf have been together for just over 3 years and we do not live together.
Recently we have been going through a bad patch, various reasons but mainly because of our priorities being different.
So yesterday he went out with his friends and I went out with 2 of his friends girlfriends. We all ended up meeting at the end of the night and my boyfriend came back to mine with me (about 3:30am). When we got back we had a massive argument, he accused me of cheating and said some nasty things and so I told him to leave which he did (4:15am). I then remembered his phone battery was low and he had left his wallet at his house earlier on. So I text/ phoned him to come back so I could order him a taxi but he didn’t. So i woke my mum up to drive round the area to try and see him to take him home because I’d had too much to drink. We left 15 minutes after he did and we were out for over an hour searching for him with no luck. I ended up going to his house and calling his mum to let her know what was going on and luckily he got home about 15 minutes after we left (6am). I then received a text telling me he loves me but it’s over and he promises me I’ll never hear from him again.
I’m obviously heartbroken because i don’t think I will ever hear from him again. He’s angry about the fact I told him to leave which I do understand but I tried my hardest to get him home. There have been many incidences where he’s let me down, and I’ve still stuck by him. He’s blocked me on every social media as well.
I guess the advice I’m after is how long should I wait (if I should) to message him, I want to message him to explain how I went looking for him and that I didn’t just leave him to it. We also have a lot of stuff at each other’s houses and If it is over I’d rather give the stuff back sooner rather than later. Is it even worth trying to fight for it? I wouldn't even know where to begin with what to say or when to say it.
Thank you for any advice given

It’s hard to give advice without more of an idea of what the problems you’ve been having are. It’s obviously a very emotional situation so I would say some time apart would be good. Don’t rush to swap the stuff (do you think part of you just wants an excuse to see him?) - I would just bag it up and hide it somewhere eg under the bed so it’s not a constant reminder. Try to take a break from mutual friends if you can and def don’t end up in a situation where you all meet up again. You need time and space away from him to process the break up, think about why it happened and whether there really is any point trying to fix it. Right now you won’t know if your feelings are real or just you panicking about breaking up.

Also you say he’s let you down quite a lot and has said some horrible things to you - I think you probably know this isn’t good for you, but with him being so extreme and cutting you off so brutally, it’s making it hard for you to remember that. Can you make a list of all the things he did that hurt you or you know weren’t good about the relationship? Speak to non mutual friends and your mum. I think you deserve better

Honestly, I think I'm so shocked by it all that I just needed to write it down and see what it seemed like from somebody else's POV. I'm hoping over the next couple of days it'll sink in and I'll be able to wrap my head around it all. Only a week ago was he saying how much I meant to him and how he wanted to make this work so it's very hard to take it all in at the moment x

So you only just broke up last night. What were the problems you were having and how has he let you down? Why would he accuse you of cheating? It doesn’t sound very healthy but you must be in shock, especially with him suddenly blocking you on everything. Are you with family/friends?

If he out of the blue accused you of cheating (provided there isn't a massive backstory) could he be projecting?
It sounds like a very extreme reaction to end a 3 year relationship over a drunken argument unless he has form for being dramatic.