Feeling a bit jealous and sad

[Sharkirasharkira]

My Dfriend has been in a relationship with her now fiancé for about 4 months, he moved in around Christmas time and they got engaged on Valentines Day. They seem really happy and I am very happy for them.

We split with our respective exes around the same time and have supported each other through it. I was really glad to have her around during such a difficult time and I really want to be supportive and helpful with her upcoming wedding but I'm finding it hard.

Ex and I were engaged for years, set a date, I bought a dress and started making vague plans but he seemed to have very little interest in making it all happen. Several of our mutual friends got engaged after we did and all of them are married by now, some have even had their anniversaries already!

Now Dfriend and her dp are engaged I'm noticing a lot of wedding stuff pop up on her page and I can't help but feeling a bit jealous and really sad that all my plans to marry the man I loved have all amounted to nothing. I should have been doing all this stuff with her, wedding planning, going to wedding fares and being excited about it all with her. Instead I'm just sad and having to hide how I feel. I would never say anything to her about it though because I am genuinely happy for her but I just can't help wishing it was me too. I have a bf now but we are nowhere near that stage yet, which is fine but I guess I'm just sad at feeling yet again that people around me are moving forward in their lives and I'm back at the beginning

Oh OP that's so normal to feel jealous and sad! No real advice, I'm afraid, but just remember that it won't always feel like this, and one day you'll look back and be so glad that you dodged that particular bullet. Hope things feel better soon.

4 months? Engaged and living together? They move fast!

I'm sorry you are grieving the life you thought you once had. It takes a long time to process and accept such big changes. Personally I wouldn't feel jealous of someone moving in with and getting engaged to a virtual stranger! It all sounds incredibly rushed and as you don't really know someone for at least a couple of years then I'd be quite worried about your friend. Continue as you are and take your time to really get to know your bf. Enjoy the journey.

It was a bit of a whirlwind romance! I am a teeny bit worried that she is moving very fast but they seem really happy and I think they are planning a long engagement! Obviously she knows him better than I do and if she feels it's right then I'm happy for them

I'm not jealous of their relationship as Im happy with mine but a year ago I was in her shoes, planning my wedding and getting excited about the future, saving up for it etc. Our 'date' was just over a year from now. It is a grieving process I think, letting go of what you thought you'd have and hoped for.

I definitely have dodged a bullet, no doubt there! Just feeling a bit guilty for feeling this way.

A few years ago I felt the same way. I was a single mum of 3 kids and I felt down that everyone else seemed to be in great relationships where all mine failed. But unexpectedly, I met someone, fell pregnant within 3 months, moved him after about 8 months, married and now I'm very happy.
I think the key is to just focus on yourself and realise that other people's lives are no reflection on your own.

I think that's part of it tbh, I feel like a bit of a failure in general and my relationship breaking down was just part of that. Even though I didn't really do anything wrong, I just keep thinking I did everything 'right' and tried as hard as I could and it still didn't work. Feel like I'm not where I'm 'supposed' to be at this stage of my life