Hey All,
I’m experiencing some relationship problems, and after trying to deal with it myself for so long, I’m going to try to get some second opinions on what people think and what I should do. Sorry if this post is a bit lengthy, I just want to make sure I’m understood :)
So, I’ve been in a relationship for about a year and a half now, it’s a committed relationship with a lovely guy whom I’ve known for a long time and whom I love. When we first started dating, exploring intimacy and sex together was amazing! However, after almost no time at all, it completely slowed down (and I know this is natural, but not after a few weeks?!). Since then, there’s basically no intimacy at all, going beyond sex to the point that he doesn’t seem interested in me physically at all.
We go months between any sort of mild sexual intimacy at all. I’ve tried talking to him multiple times, never ever pressuring or being rude, just communicating that I want more from that side of the relationship and being constantly told ‘no’ or ‘another time’ is starting to hurt. However, when I talk to him about that stuff, he doesn’t actually seem to care? It doesn’t seem to bother him that it bothers me so much. I even told him, truthfully, that it’s getting so bad that I’m seriously starting to loose interest, desire and passion for him... and he just didn’t have anything to say, asking ‘what can I say?’. :/
When we actually do anything, it’s always on ‘his terms’. What I mean by that is he has a slightly ‘out of the ordinary’ taste for something, which he was nervous to tell me but I was happy to do for him if it makes him happy. However, it seems to have taken over, and if we actually do anything it seems to basically only include that stuff which he likes.
I used to feel serious desire and passion for him in this relationship...but months and months between intimacy, him seeming like he doesn’t care when I try to communicate and being kinda selfish in the sense that we’ll only include the stuff he likes, and not seeing how it can change from this point? It’s really starting to get to me, hurt my self esteem, frustrate me in other ways and making me feel very uncontent in this relationship.
I want to be in an intimate relationship with the person I love. But this is just starting to get to me too much and hurt me too much, because it really does feel like he’s not interested in me physically at all. He will barely put his hands on me or kiss me, let alone more than that. Someone once suggested an open relationship, but I really don’t know how I feel about that?
I’m really not sure what to do, any advice or thoughts would be really welcome!