From as early as i can remember my father has been bad tempered.. as kids we were all afraid of him. Memories now looking back were uncalled for and very abuse like to myself and my mother.
Nowadays we tolerate him. He goes through anger cycles of being an a*shole.. none of want to be around him which makes him angrier. And back to tolerating him again.
I have three young kids and my mum volunteers to babysit a lot. My father is obsessed with my kids.. thinks they are the best things ever (.. never remember him being this way with me and my siblings).
Few issues that are getting increasingly worse with my father however surrounding my boys..
- he makes out like when we visit me and my mother dont watch the kids enough - eg. How dare we leave him with a pen unwatched incase he takes his eyes out
- gets angry at my mother when we leave over mess caused by my boys - accuses her of being irresponsible and doing a terrible job
-makes snuby remarks that my boys are a hassle eg. When xmas toy shopping my mother volunteered to baby sit he was particularly rude about this - i know that they love my boys and would get annoyed when they dont see them
Basically IMO he uses my kids as a reason to go off on one. Gets on like they are an issue and causes scenes for attention.. he gets particularly aggressive on minor things with my mother about the kids and I know ive not overstepped the line with the babysitting.
As a whole I don’t know what to do with him.. i cant outright not let him see my kids or can i? I know that our latest visit that he went off on one that my mother ‘didnt do a good enough job’ keeping the house tidy at our last visit.. a few cars and books here and there.
I don’t particularly know what im asking? Any response appreciated.