Boyfriend's behaviour driving me mad. What do you think and how would you deal with it?

[MangoPineapple]

We've been together for a few months and are both students finishing uni.
I'm really confused about some of his behaviour, though, and I don't know if it's my own anxiety or whether or not he is being an arsehole. He can be really outgoing and chatty, especially in a professional setting, but timetimes he just will not talk, to anyone. There have been quite a few times where I or one of our other friends will ask him something and he just won't respond. I've tried to address this with him lightly a couple of times, and he has explained that sometimes he just gets lost in thought, and there are other times where he says he just "doesn't feel like talking." He also says he sometimes doesn't know that people are around him or trying to ask him a question.
This behaviour drives me really mad and gets my anxiety up because although he is like this with others, I keep thinking that he might be doing it just to be spiteful. Can I have some opinions on what you all think? (from what I know he has no hearing issues) Thank you.

If he doesn't feel like talking why not just go in another room or something?

Run for the. Hills! !!!!
Seriously, you are young and you don't need this shit.
Sack him off and find someone with manners who doesn't choose to ignore those around him because that is what he is doing.

He is being an arsehole. I think you know it deep down. You've only known him a few months and you're on here. Never a good sign.

On the other hand, if I am lost in thought or reading or trying to do something and people talk to me I don't always hear them if I am concentrating.

If people get pissy with me, it pissed me off. It's clear when someone is lost in thought or distracted.

That's a good point, but I feel like he should still answer me when he doesn't feel like talking, not just straight-up ignore and then tell me later he didn't want to talk.

Maybe he needs to get his hearing checked for a start.

You're correct. He should. Seriously you don't have to put up with this nonsense. Run for the hills, you owe him nothing, you owe yourself the respect to get yourself a better relationship or be single..

Odd behaviour.

Thanks all, I'm glad most of you think this isn't normal. It's not just me then. I'm going to end it and move on.

If he knows it triggers your anxiety and he still does it then he isn't worth your time. Tbh I think he's putting on an act trying to be a bit 'different' and 'unique'. I came across many at University. They want to be different and special. They don't realise they look like ignorant fools.

Definitely. I think there have been a few times where he has done it just to annoy me.
I guess I wonder why he would do this with his peers and friends. He's not gaining anything from it. Oh well, I'm not going to make it my problem anymore.

It can be an autistic trait. My nephew does this. If he doesn't want to do anything he blankly refuses (silently) and doesnt see anyone's issue with this.

And I hope he grows up before becoming a parent, because he won't be able to do this with any children he has. And thanks again, you've just confirmed what I thought.

Hey hun just sent you a message if thats ok

Just leave. If a relationship at this stage is causing you stress, just go.

Yeah, you can do better

My friend has absences epilepsy www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung&source=android-browser&q=absences+epilepsy. Don't know if it sounds familiar? My nephew does too.

That's really interesting about absences epilepsy. I'd never heard of it but it could be possible, though he's never talked openly about seizures before. (I will still end things though because of the anxiety). Still, it's good to know there could be a reasoning behind it.

Come to think of it, he once told me when we were trying to talk about it that sometimes he doesn't remember his own name. Thought it was just bollocks but could see that if he did have this condition, he might just want to hide it.
Thanks again everyone, I'm still sticking with my original decision.

My lovely friend had absence epilepsy. She has sustained serious injury due to seizing while she was doing certain things.

By all means leave him, but perhaps suggest he has this investigated.

Does he suffer from absence seizures? This could be a reason. When your asking him how does he appear?

Definitely sounds weird :S i often dont feel like talking to people.. i hate it but still would never just ignore them i just give short answers and get back to what i was doing.

Thanks for the new replies. It's all over now.
To answer the question about how he was when he was not answering, I'd never thought to ask (am visually impaired so couldn't see for myself, but my anxiety meant I always thought he was being spiteful). I really appreciate these of you who have explained absence seizures. I can see that these are very real. Possibly if this were the only issue, I would have tried to keep us going, but there were some other things as well I just couldn't deal with. As to whether he was having mild seizures, yes that could be very possible, but as I had mentioned earlier, he'd never been very open about them. If he is aware that he is having them, then he is probably too ashamed to talk about them.
Thank you all.

I hate all the armchair diagnosis that goes on here sometimes. Maybe he's just rude and ill mannered? Chances are, if he's OK in a professional setting, but not with your friends, he's actually choosing to be a twat.

Either way, pleased to see you've got rid.