Is this behaviour sexual abuse?

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Can't believe I'm .about to type this. I have another thread on here and I'm currently making plans to get my boyfriend out the house. Since posting I've been forced to really be honest with myself about his behaviour and there is something that is really bugging me.

I think he is trying to get me pregnant again. I assume he thinks that will mean that I won't kick him out. I say this because I'm always very clear about the fact I don't want unprotected sex and that I don't want another baby at the moment. He says he doesn't like condoms and keeps asking 'can I just put it in for a second?' Sometimes I back down (I know that is entirely on me) partly because I'm so grateful that he is being nice to me (though I realise pressuring me into something i don't want isn't actually nice at all) and partly so i dont trigger one of his moods and because I believe him when he says just for a second. (Yes i know. Im an idiot) The times I do back down I always reiterate the fact he isn't to cum inside me but he does anyway. Without any warning. Then of course he claims it was an accident. I'm no longer sleeping with him as I learnt my lesson. He has said 'jokingly' that he will go elsewhere. I'm never sure If he is joking or not. Which of course helps with my decision to give into him.

We have a young baby and I kind of feel that I ended up getting pregnant because he broke down my 'no unprotected sex' rule in various ways until it just became the norm. Even though I didn't actually want to risk getting pregnant. He would be so affectionate and tell me his much he loved me and couldn't wait to marry me and wanted me to have his baby. He would tell me this over and over until I started to fall for the idea. He would push it a little further each time until we stopped using condoms. Sometimes he did pull out. Sometimes he didn't even if I asked him to. I know how stupid this sounds. He is a master manipulator. Very charming (When he wants something) and very confident. And I fell for it as I wanted the fairy tale happy ending. Another chance at being a family. Getting married again. I had no idea he was actually a crack addict and was as high as a kite when he was saying these things to me. I know ultimately it was my responsibility to make sure i didn't get pregnant, there's just something about it all that makes me uncomfortable.

Maelstrop do you seriously believe that women actually let men rape them? That's exactly how your post came across to me, that's surely not what you mean. Is it?!

op is being sexually abused and your first question is about her contraceptive choices?? Please

OP is being emotionally manipulated and coerced into sex.
OP has already been coerced into one pregnancy and is fearful of another.
One of the most important things she needs to do asap is get her contraception sorted....because the coercion will continue until she is informed and strong enough to ltb.

The other most important thing OP needs to do is speak to Women's Aid and, when she's ready, the police.
OP has taken a step to protect herself whilst she gets her head around it, unfortunately this 'man' will start upping the pressure the more she resists....there's a real danger that he could get physically violent and hurt OP the next time he rapes her.

OP, a copper coil doesn't involve using hormones so i don't know if that might be something that works better for you?
Please speak to your GP and investigate other options, they can advise and support you through this too.
You can keep a record of the abuse via your GP and it's there when/if you need it for evidence later on down the line.

Do you still have any contact with your HV/midwife etc?

No regular contact with health visitor, think there is a development check at some point.

Feels like a lot to get my head round at the moment. He does it so nicely, with so much charm. Which I think is why it's made me feel so uncomfortable because in spite of his charm something still didn't feel right. I do wonder if he doesn't know what he is doing is wrong. But that is probably wishful thinking.

They can also cut the string s super short to make sure he can't pull it out - sorry to be so frank but it happens and supportive medical staff will help you.

. I do wonder if he doesn't know what he is doing is wrong.

I am pretty sure he knows and even he doesn't know, his not knowing that it's wrong is horrible and betrays a chilling lack of empathy, respect and self awareness.

Sorry this is happening to you

I think he does lack self awareness, judging by his day to day behaviour. As well as lack of respect for other people.

No, this is totally wrong.

For various reasons DH are just using condoms at the moment (while he pisses around about getting the snip). He really doesn't like condoms and can be a bit of a baby about it, and has said a few times 'can I just put it in for a second' without. I always say no, and he doesn't and that is that. I know that he would never put it in when I have said no. He has never made me feel uncomfortable or manipulated or pressured when it comes to sex.

I don't really have specific advice, but I wanted you to know that this is not normal, healthy, sexual behaviour.

Because he dies it all so 'nicely I've pushed it out my head. Easier not to think about it