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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don’t really know where to turn

3 replies

Possiblynot · 15/02/2019 21:10

Forgive me if this is a little rambled.
My DD is really struggling with anxiety and depression. She is now going to be receiving help through a private therapist, school and we finally have a camhs referral. Her dad has been fantastic tho, and a real help to her.

Anyway that’s not the real problem but possibly part of it.

My partner and her son moved in a year ago. Her son has some issues himself, but mainly ok. His is 23, unemployed and does very little to find work, but does help around the house.

Since my DD has started having problems, our relationship has gone totally wrong. I have probably shut myself down a little so I can deal/help DD and because I am so used to dealing with stuff on my own (relationship with DD dad was abusive) admittedly pushed her out a little.

We recently found that my dd was hurting herself. My DP reacted very angrily (as she seems to at any situation). After we got back from the docs, She said to me, ‘now don’t shout at me, but I have to say this. DD I am very angry and disappointed in you’ It took me ages to calm DD down after seeing the gp, and then my dp said this so it took me a long while to calm DD down again. Poor kid feels awful as it is and it just made her feel worse.

DD is at her dads tonight so I tried to tackle DP to see if we can unite somehow and help her. DP basically said, I am sorry I get angry, but that’s just me. Deal with it or don’t. I won’t change.

I just don’t know quite what to do. My DD is my no1 responsibility. Her happiness is important. DD and DP got on ok before this happened, and they still seem too.

I am watching DD like a hawk, but can’t deal with DP’s issues too. It’s all a bit much.

OP posts:
DameBaggySmith · 15/02/2019 21:36

It sounds to me like you probably do know what to do but you don't want to?

I am very sorry you are going through this, if DD is priority number one and your DP is making it worse (and won't change) then it may be best to end the relationship Thanks

NotTheFordType · 15/02/2019 21:40

We recently found that my dd was hurting herself. My DP reacted very angrily (as she seems to at any situation). After we got back from the docs, She said to me, ‘now don’t shout at me, but I have to say this. DD I am very angry and disappointed in you’

Bin this bitch off. Or you are no parent.

ConfCall · 15/02/2019 23:20

It's sad, but it's clear to me that you need to prioritise your daughter by asking your partner to leave.

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