Clusterfuck hit me at the end of September when STBXH gave me the script and announced out of the blue that he no longer loved me. Together 14 years. Shock of my life. He moved out early November.
Cue me falling off my perch for a while. I was carried through by an army of friends, family, colleagues, and neighbours. I had some good psychotherapy. We’re now co-parenting our DD6, heading into division of assets, and I guess will start divorce proceedings before long.
Anyhow, in a fit of curiosity (with a touch of good-for-the-goose when I saw ex on OLD), I signed up to Bumble and went on a coffee date late January. It went very well, and has turned into several brilliant subsequent dates. At first I was adamant I didn’t want a boyfriend and at best saw it as a fun distraction. But over the weeks, feelings have deepened on both sides and now it looks and feels like a lovely new and exclusive relationship.
Because this wasn’t in my plans, I’m worrying I haven’t given myself time to heal. My friends are warning much the same thing. I had wanted to be a single for a while, to please myself and try some new things. But if someone great comes along, what am I going to do? Maybe I can still do those new things while having a relationship. It feels good. Life is short. Things can change in an instant. I don’t feel vulnerable. I can be totally honest with this guy. We both have kids half the time so see each other around parenting.
Should I go with it? Any experiences of short gaps after an out of the blue separation?