Long time lurker here, but first time poster needing advice - So cutting a really long story short, Im 30 and have recently (6 months ago) come out of a 4 year same sex relationship with my ex partner and moved out of the family home.
It didn't end on the best terms however we still maintained a close friendship/relationship mainly due to our DCs (7 and 9) from previous partners sharing the same school, extra curricular activities and further on the basis that there is still a lot of strong feelings between us at present. we have shared so much and we have acknowledged that we would miss the friendship if we cut complete contact and the children would also miss out too.
However when we are together it is easy to slip back into old routines and there have been occassions and circumstances since we have done that frequently and boundaries have been crossed. Then we argue and dont talk for awhile and then the same cycle repeats. It is like we love eachother too much but are not good for eachother.
I have recently met someone else ( a man) socially through mutual friends and we have been on a few socials together and talked alot on the phone and he has asked me on a date this has all happened quite fast but we are getting on really well and he is lovely and a gorgeous man.
My query is should i tell my (now ex / friend) about this man? Or try distance myself from her as i feel when we are together its easy to fall into routine however the relationship does not work.
Should i continue to have the same relationship/ friendship with my ex? And explain to the new man?
I feel at a crossroads, As I love my ex but know it does not work and that there is no salvaging the relationship and I want to move on romantically - however she is my best friend.
I dont want to feel like I'm emotionally cheating on anyone and I dont want to start getting serious with this man if i can not give him my all and I'm still stuck on old routines/habits on the other hand I also realistically dont want to end my friendship with my ex.
Though I do feel like we are stuck in the same cycle of crossing boundaries, getting too close and then arguing about it and its been hard maintaining a friendship.
I need advice?! HELP?!