Can this work?

[NCforthisoneb]

Been together for a year. First few months were amazing then six months in started to hit problems.

Main issue is that we both work long hours and don’t spend enough time together. When we do see each other he’s often too tired to want to anything other than snooze on the couch.

I know it’s not his fault and I respect that he needs to focus on his career, just as I do. But the difference seems to be that our energy levels are incompatible. I work crazy hours too but still like to go out and have fun. My sex drive is high where his is fairly low.

He is such a lovely man and I know he loves me. I love him dearly. But are we just not compatible in everyday life?

Is this work schedule unlikely to change any time soon? If not, then I would say you need to have a serious think about what you want from a relationship. Seeing each other and spending quality time together/enjoying each other's company/having sex are all important things that you should both want from each other

Thanks for replying @FelicisWolf

Unfortunately it’s likely to continue for the foreseeable future. He is very ambitious and I want to be supportive of that but I’m worried that I’m going to end up feeling mega frustrated in the end.

I would be fine with the idea of working during the week then having the weekend together which we’ve been trying to aim for. However the reality is that he’s so knackered after a 50 hour week that he sleeps til noon and then doesn't have much time left to do chores that he’s not able to do during the week. So our time is the thing that gets sacrificed.

He’s really thoughtful and sends me lovely little messages throughout the day, but I don’t think we’re spending enough quality time together for us not to drift apart.

Sorry but its only been a year and already he'd rather snooze on the couch than do stuff with you. That's not gonna get any better is it?
I understand he is tired but there also appears to be a lack of effort on his part. Relationships take effort. He's essentially putting his career before his relationship.Not sure how you can go forward if you're not able to accept that.

Thing is though, I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable in my expectations.

For example, he books us long weekend breaks every few months or so and we have such a lovely time together. But then the next few weeks are basically consumed with catching up missed work.

It’s a good question as to whether I am able to accept his putting career before relationship. I suppose that’s what I’m trying to work out and whether it’s reasonable of me to want to take priority.