Reported Historic Abuse - Questions About Suspect Identification

[andithoughtmydogwasnaughty]

To cut a very very long story short. I was sexually abused/raped between the ages of 11-17. Last year (now in my 30’s) I finally decided to speak out. I agreed to the information being passed to the police and this year the police have contacted me and started investigating.

Obviously it’s all really hard but I’m finding a couple of ‘what ifs’ really stressful and I’m hoping someone has the answers!

I do not remember who did it. I can’t remember his name, his facial features, only a few factors such as approximate age / build / skin colour/ behaviour. I don’t know whether to put this down to the time that has passed or the trauma. I’m going to ‘look at some images’ soon at the police station. I’ve been told that the suspect ‘may or may not be present in the images’. So...

WHAT IF ... I can’t identify him. Is that it, is the investigation over?

WHAT IF ... I identify the wrong person?

WHAT IF ... I identify the correct person?

I feel out of control and unprepared and desperately want to know what might happen.

Can anyone help?

I'm so sorry you went through such traumatic events. I do hope the police are treating you kindly as they investigate.

I think you really have to speak to the police and ask them to explain how this is going to work. Tell them your fears, tell them you are worried. You should be feeling supported and understood, not unprepared: they need to answer all your questions and help you through this.

I hope you get the support you need.

Thank you.

I need to get better at communicating my fears in real life. Bouncing around pretending I’m fine has always been a good coping mechanism though!

I’m just terrified that I’ll sit in front of these images and not have a clue which one it is. I’ll just walk away feeling like I’ve failed / wasted everyone’s time.

You're not wasting anyone's time. You're doing your best under very difficult circumstances.

Speak to the police and tell them your fears. They'll be keen to reassure you, I'm sure.

Is it someone who was a family friend? Can your parents shed any light on who it was? It must have been someone who you saw alone regularly so your parents would know who it is?

So sorry you're going through this I hope the investigation leads to a conviction

It happened whilst I was spending time at stables. I don’t believe it was a family friend but most probably someone who was at the stables regularly. I’ve just had a total memory black out of who it was. My parents don’t know ... I’ve spent most of my life pretending this didn’t happen.
I’m going to try and be more honest and open with the police and hopefully if they know I’m suffering they’ll communicate more.