Words of encouragement please

[kiwimuma]

Hello people .... Please be kind.

I am married with two kids. Until a very short while ago I would have described this as a happy marriage

A man from my past has just reentered my life ...he is also married with two kids now. We've been texting and emailing ....There is serious chemistry there and we both know it. We met for a drink and shared a kiss but nothing else.

Anyway, since a couple of days ago the texts and emails have started to trail off. I know him well enough to know that he is probably feeling guilty but would never tell me that. I know in my heart this is actually a good thing that we are cooling off.

Trouble is, I feel like I felt when I was 21 and in the dating game. Thinking about him constantly , Sitting here wondering what's going on, should I initiate contact, will that look too forward, then getting all down about it.

I basically need you all to tell me to leave well alone, these feelings will fade, and erase these last two weeks from my life. I need tough love please!!!!!

You are NOT a free agent and hopefully he has realised that he could wreck his whole life (and yours) if this goes any further. DO NOT contact him. You will look cheap and desperate. Concentrate on your marriage and family.

Keep away and explore why you were tempted and do your very best to fix it. Otherwise heartbreak and mayhem lies ahead for two families

Get a grip! There are four children involved here, put their happiness above your fanny gallops!

If you don't want to have an affair and trample your dh's heart, then you need to block this bloke and stop indulging the infatuation. When you start thinking about OM, stop and do something else - family time, gaming, physical jerks, quadratic equations, cold shower . You're actually making a choice to indulge in the swoony stuff, you are not helpless.

I am pretty sure that in at least one relationship...most peoples lives they have at least considered what life would be like if you was with someone else... be it a unattainable person or in your case a potentially attainable one.

I imagine it is nice to feel the height of emotion and lust of those early dating days.

But another person is not a reason that is a good one to end a marriage which is the path you was starting to walk.

While he has gone quiet perhaps take time to take stock of you marriage make sure you are happy and perhaps as an experiment try to have a date night/ reconnect with your husband a little.. for the next couple of months... maybe it’s a little less exciting right now because you both are so comfortable you have forgotten how to make an effort and date.

It will be hard to trust the other guy and same for him with you if you did get together via cheating on others.

Just how I would look at it if I was making the choice / in the same dilemma...as if you cross much more of a line there will be no going back.

If you were your husband and you found out about the messages secret meating and kiss it would not be pretty ... as if you respect him you haven’t shown . It and it’s a betrayal of trust

So if you take it any further and you don’t see a future with your husband at least show the respect and courtesy and break up first ... if you don’t want to ... it speak volumes

Anyhow that’s how I would analyse it if it was me x good luck