I hope this isn’t too long but I just to have a bit of a rant.
I’m mid 30’s, separated. Fell out of love with Stbxh, things happened and resentment crept in. Anyway..
I met someone after in another country. We clicked, got on well. Thought it might be a holiday fling so enjoyed myself immensely.
Returned home and we kept in contact regularly. I had spent a couple of months on holiday.
He decided to move over to my country which I was delighted about. He left his job (an ok job, but zero chance of progression) and he moved in with me straight away. He didn’t know anybody in this country when he moved over, only me. We do get on really well but I like to have fun and socialise on occasion but unfortunately he’s not too keen so I tend to go out with friends one every couple two or three months. I like to let my hair down and have fun and I’m a bit daft with a few drinks, but not bad or anything. He is not from a drinking culture and doesn’t like me ‘binge drinking’ which gets my back up sometimes as I don’t go out very often. Most of my friends are married, pregnant, trying to get pregnant. I work full time too.
He said he’d get work when he moved over but aside from applying for a couple of jobs online he’s done nothing. I pay for everything. That was ok at the start as I knew it might take him a while to get settled.
But it’s been months now. Months of him sitting in the house watching tv every day. He’s a really lovely person though, he’s kind, patient, cooks and cleans and is exceptionally loving to me and constantly tells me I’m beautiful.We have a lot of the same interests; tv shows, movies, food etc. I do want children sometime in the future and he’s on the same page there. He’s also good to my family. They all like him but they don’t see how we’re together as I’m very outgoing and social and he’s quiet and not bothered about ever going out again. My friends seem to like him but I know the conversation they have with bf is awkward/ strained sometimes.He has opinions on women getting drunk and acting inappropriate and we’ve bickered a bit about this at times but nothing major.
We don’t tend to argue much at all.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this but I sometimes get a naggy feeling that we aren’t that well suited after all and then I have days when I think he’s the bees knees.
Sometimes I just feel a bit fed up with the whole situation, that he’s not working and that if I want to go out I know he’s not into that scene. I watch my friends with their partners and while they don’t go out much now either they have great fun together and can have a few drinks without been judged.
I do love him but I wish sometimes he’d just have fun and let his hair down but he’s happy to sit in every night and watch tv. My parents have a better social life than me!! Also the fact he’s not earning yet we can’t do much.
I don’t know what to think. My stbxh went out every weekend and it annoyed me (amongst other stuff) but now I have the complete opposite of that and I’m still wondering.
What is wrong with me?!