Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So stressed and fed up

13 replies

Buttonmoon82 · 14/02/2019 18:27

Hi all
I'm new to this site. I'm feeling really stressed out and end of my tether. My partner works full time I've been out of work a while due to mental health issues suffer with depression,anxiety etc. The problem I have is that my partner goes out with work mates at end of each work to the pub and spends quite a lot and it leaves us with barely anything I struggle to pay bills because of this and it's really getting to me now.

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 14/02/2019 18:30

Us? Do you have children?

Is the reason for your depression and anxiety money worries?

Buttonmoon82 · 14/02/2019 18:48

Hi I have a 16 year old son but he's living with his father now. My situation is so complicated and there's many reasons for it but money worries doesn't help.

OP posts:
Buttonmoon82 · 14/02/2019 18:49

I meant us like both of us

OP posts:
LovingLola · 14/02/2019 18:57

Do you want to stay with this man? Are you having help with your mental health situation?

Buttonmoon82 · 14/02/2019 19:07

I do and I don't if you know what I mean one part of me loves him but another part resents him as he's put me through a lot. He also has anger issues and is moody a lot but won't seek help for it I can't talk to him about things as he either makes false promises or blows up with anger so I have to keep my feelings to myself. I have previously had therapy several times and I take medication but I'm isolated as well as lost my only parent unexpectedly when I was 21 in my 30s now.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 14/02/2019 19:24

I'd place money in your mental health improving without him in your life.

Buttonmoon82 · 15/02/2019 10:41

I'm not in a position to leave and I don't have any other support feel so hopeless 😢

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 15/02/2019 10:44

Just going on the limited info I think maybe you shouldn't be together

Does he know how u feel?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/02/2019 10:50

And how much more will he put you through?. Another 3-5 years of this will really do your mental health, fragile as it is, no favours at all.
Men like this take an awful long time, years even, to recover from.

I would think he is all sweetness and light at work; you are seeing his true nature i.e outright abusive behind closed doors. He does not have an anger management problem, he has a problem with anger, your anger, when you quite rightly call him out on his unreasonable behaviours. He does not want to seek help because he feels entitled to act like this and does so too because he can. You are his own personal emotional punchbag.

I am so sorry to read that your only parent died when you were in your early 20s.

Please contact Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 whilst he is not there and discuss this situation with them. You are in an abusive relationship and this individual targeted you and deliberately too partly through your own social isolation.

Abuse like this too thrives on secrecy. Do not keep this a secret from anyone like your GP, a therapist or any MH professionals you are in contact with.

There is always a way out, never ever think that you cannot leave here. Womens Aid can and will help you here but you need to take that first step yourself.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 15/02/2019 10:50

He knows how you feel and could not care less. His actions are about power and control, he wants absolute over you.

Such men do not change.

Buttonmoon82 · 15/02/2019 11:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buttonmoon82 · 15/02/2019 11:50

Not really i don't feel able to as he doesn't listen or gets angry and shouts at me or gives me silent treatment

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 15/02/2019 14:57

Was he like this before you stopped working OP? Or has he changed since he became the sole earner?
Did you have MH issues before you met him, or has living with him caused them?
Either way, I think you need to find a low-stress job and start earning again, so that you can plan to leave.
What jobs are there in your area that you can do?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page