Damaged goods

[OdeToDiazepam]

Does anyone else feel like they're damaged goods?

Or has anyone experienced that feeling and those issues and then it's worked out ok?

I can't stop that thought going round my head and it's getting me really down

I can't see it ever working for me and a relationship again. I'm 26 and I feel like that's it now, I can't do it anymore.

I've looked at some self help type books, maybe that would help? I just can't handle relationships and they always break down and I get so confused, always hurt.

Oh blimey, get some therapy. Not kidding.

Yes to the first question. I think us humans all do at some point feel like failure. No one has a set script to work from and I guess we are all trying to do our best.

I have been in five really abusive relationships, I am ten days in after leaving my ex for the fourth time. This time for good and I am 50. I would not have left my abusive partner if it was not for some of the great ad use found on here. I am having therapy and attending the freedom program again and accepting who I am and how I have changed. I refuse to give up on me though. You should not either.

Advice not ad use

Thanks Amanda I have had extensive therapy for ptsd.. don't think I can access more without a lot of expense

I came out of an 11 year relationship in January 2018 and I’m still not ready to consider looking for a new relationship. He has really caused me to doubt my judgement and worth so I’m focusing on doing things to to make me feel better about myself and other non romantic relationships in my life. Maybe you need to take some time out from dating and do the same OP. I wouldn’t say I prefer being single but I’m okay with it right now. X

Well done for leaving can'theart

I was in an abusive relationship too, I left nearly 3 years ago now but had a year of hell with stalking harassment and assaults and had to flee in the end

I feel like I've got over the ptsd, I've got over him. But there's damage there, I have issues, not necessarily the obvious ones but trust, intimacy.. being hypersensitive and vigilant, triggers

How do you trust again after something like that?

Everytime I try I self destruct over and over.. I think, and then I get confused is it me? Is it them? It can't be them every time.

Generally I'm happy being single but then sometimes I miss the cuddles, having someone who cares about your day.. it's lonely being a single parent sometimes isn't it.

I don't feel like I need a relationship to be happy but sometimes the thought of being on my own my whole life makes me desperately unhappy and scared

Then I go on these sites or whatever, not attracted to 99.5% of the men, most of them are creeps, sometimes not straight away but I don't get any good feelings

I turned down my exes proposal of being fwb.. he doesn't even care.

That just tells me I'm worthless. Someone who told me he loved me only a month or so ago. Then I'm stuck agonising about whether it was my fault or his. What's wrong with me

The only thing I can say is that nothing lasts forever, not even the despair you may feel at the end of another relationship.

Sometimes we need just to accept that feeling that pain is normal, that it will stay with us for some time and eventually, it will dissipate on its own and you will be ready to try again ( if you wish).

I know what you mean. Most days I’m working or busy with the kids but it’s a Friday and Saturday night I notice it the most. It’d be great just to have an adult to cuddle up to and watch some tv together, cook a meal, talk about some funny thing one of the kids have said etc. Someone you know well and are comfortable with. I don’t believe all men are like my ex and I think there is someone for everyone if you’re willing to put yourself out there. I’m just too emotional and my ego’s too fragile at the moment to bother with the ups and downs of dating. I know some couples who are genuinely well matched and happy but I also know quite a few who just settled and I don’t want to do that. It can be a bit lonely but it’s always better than being with someone who brings you down. X

If he told you a month ago he loves you then he was lying. Men who love you do not want to be fwb. They want all of you. X

Thanks Spock you're right, it's definitely better being single than being with someone that makes you unhappy and unsafe x

I am damaged goods and I have accepted it though it doesn't make it easier to live with.
Sorry I know it's not what you wanted to hear but I feel better having writing this down .
I will be watching this thread if anyone comes along with better advice

Damaged goods?! What a horrible way to view yourself or anyone else.

Try to get some independence and self esteem. Focus on work, career, your children. Get some hobbies or interests. You're not damaged goods